Subject: Entertainment » Music (Page 7)

He hasn't just lost the plot, he's lost the whole library!

Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism

I want to be a diva… like people-totally-respect-my-music diva, not diva like carry-my-Diet-Coke-around.

(1980 – ) American singer
Music Success

I liked your opera… I think I will set it to music.

(1770 – 1827) German composer & pianist
Entertainment Insults Music

Fiddle: An instrument to tickle human ears by friction of a horse's tail on the entrails of a cat.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Animals Definitions Music

Jazz: Music invented for the torture of imbeciles.

(1852 – 1933) author, educator & clergyman
Music Reviews/Criticism

If you can imagine a man having a vasectomy without anesthetic to the sound of frantic sitar playing, you will have some idea of what popular Turkish music is like.

American author
Entertainment Music Places

Generally, he had a good ear; he didn't know the notes that well, but he played in their general vicinity.

(1934 – ) daughter of Jack Benny and Mary Livingstone
Entertainment Music

I played a blank tape on full volume; the mime who lives next door complained.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Music Situations

I know [canned music] makes chickens lay more eggs and factory workers produce more, but how much more can they get out of you on an elevator?

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Entertainment Music

It's not music, it's a disease.

(1911 – 2010) American bandleader
Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism

Harpist: A plucky musician.

Definitions Entertainment Music Wordplay

After conducting a concert in a small town, I once received the following note from a farmer who had attended the performance: “Dear Sir, I wish to inform you that the man who played the long thing you pull in and out only did so during the brief periods you were looking at him.”

(1867 – 1957) Italian conductor
Entertainment Music

Fiddler: A violinist before he becomes the virtuoso.

Definitions Entertainment Music

Oh say can you see, by the dawn’s early light. What so proudly we hailed. Of thee I sing.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Malaprops Music

I have no problem not listening to The Temptations.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Music

Xylophone: Small toy musical instrument often given as gifts to children who show their appreciation by playing the stupid thing constantly, over and over, all day long; see also "drums."

Definitions Entertainment Music

The museum boasted owning the original version of Beethoven's unfinished basement.

comedian
Entertainment Music Places

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Entertainment Music Science/Weather

Accordian: An instrument inharmony with the sentiments of an assassin.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Definitions Entertainment Music

Military justice is to justice what military music is to music.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
America Entertainment Government Military Music Places

If anyone has conducted a Beethoven performance, and then doesn’t have to go to an osteopath, then there’s something wrong.

(1955 – ) English conductor
Entertainment Music