Subject: Entertainment » Music (Page 8)

I went to a record store and asked for 50 Cent; they kicked me out for pan-handling.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic

If it wasn't for white people, who would play lead guitar?

(1954 – ) American actress & comedian

Jazz Musician: A juggler who uses harmonies instead of oranges.

I don't like country music, but I don't mean to denigrate those who do; and for the people who like country music, denigrate means 'put down.’

(1929 – ) American comedian & comic actor

Let me tell you about Jack's singing voice… it made his violin playing sound good.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

The first time I sang in the church choir; two hundred people changed their religion.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

He hasn't just lost the plot, he's lost the whole library!

Composers shouldn't think too much—it interferes with their plagiarism.

(1896 – 1983) American actor

The people who gave us golf and called it a game are the same people who gave us bag pipes and called it music.

The bagpipes sound exactly the same when you have finished learning them as when you start.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

Tonight I’m going to listen with my ears.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist

I like Wagner’s music better than anybody’s; it is so loud that one can talk the whole time without people hearing what one says.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet

After seeing the opera Tosca, Yogi remarked, “I really liked it, even the music was nice”

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager

You might be a redneck if… you think 'N Sync is where the dirty dishes go.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Jack Benny played Mendelsson last night… Mendelsson lost.

Berlioz composes by splashing his pen over the manuscript and leaving the issue to chance.

(1810 – 1849) Polish composer & virtuoso pianist

The only reason Woodstock was necessary is because they didn't have iTunes.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host

It's bad when they don't perform your operas – but when they do, it's far worse.

(1835 – 1921) French Late-Romantic composer, conductor & pianist

There is no doubt that the first requirement for a composer is to be dead.

(1892 – 1955) Swiss composer

Someone came too sooner.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist

When she started to play, Steinway came down personally and rubbed his name off the piano.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor