Subject: Entertainment » Music (Page 8)

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands – and all you can do is scratch it.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Insults Music

The notes are right, but if I listened they would be wrong.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment Misspokements Music

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Entertainment Music Occupations Work

Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Entertainment Music

Fortissimo at last!

(1860 – 1911) Austrian composer
Entertainment Music Places

I went to a record store and asked for 50 Cent; they kicked me out for pan-handling.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Entertainment Music

The Detroit String Quartet played Brahms last night… Brahms lost.

(1898 – 1971) American humorist
Music Reviews/Criticism

Accordion Music: Noise that comes from playing both ends against the middle.

Definitions Entertainment Music

No… but I have trodden in some.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Insults Music

Beethoven always sounds to me like the upsetting of a bag of nails, with here and there also a dropped hammer.

(1819 – 1900) English art critic, social thinker, poet & artist
Entertainment Music Reviews/Criticism

After conducting a concert in a small town, I once received the following note from a farmer who had attended the performance: “Dear Sir, I wish to inform you that the man who played the long thing you pull in and out only did so during the brief periods you were looking at him.”

(1867 – 1957) Italian conductor
Entertainment Music

What is a harp but an over-sized cheese-slicer with cultural pretensions?

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Music

We are not used to playing the kind of venues that don't have a drain in the middle of the floor.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Entertainment Music Places

All music is folk music; I ain’t never heard no horse sing a song.

(1901 – 1971) American jazz trumpeter and singer
Entertainment Music

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Entertainment Music Science/Weather

I opened the door for a lot of people, and they just ran through and left me holding the knob.

(1928 – 2008) American singer, songwriter & rock and roll pioneer
Entertainment Music Situations

I told Zollie Volchok [Sonics general manager] we needed an ultrasound machine and he asked me why we needed music in the locker room.

American basketball player & coach
Basketball Entertainment Music Sports

Composers shouldn't think too much—it interferes with their plagiarism.

(1896 – 1983) American actor
Communication Entertainment Music Reading/Writing

Liking both Marvin Gaye and Art Garfunkel is like supporting both the Israelis and the Palestinians.

(1966 – ) American film actor, producer & screenwriter
Entertainment Music TV/Movie Quotes

Berlioz, musically speaking, is a lunatic; a classical composer only in Paris, the great city of quacks.

Entertainment Insults Music Places

Anton Bruckner wrote the same symphony nine times, trying to get it just right… he failed.

(1927 – 1989) author, essayist & environmentalist
Music Reviews/Criticism