Subject: Entertainment (Page 13)

I know two kinds of audiences only – one coughing, and one not coughing.

(1882 – 1951) Austrian composer & pianist
Entertainment Music

Baptists never make love standing up; they're afraid someone might see them and think they're dancing!

(1946 – 1994) writer & humorist
Beliefs Dance Religion Sex

I wrote a song, but I don’t know how to read music, so I don’t know what it is.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Music

You know, the only difference between me and a surgeon or a pediatrician is that when I approach a couple with a child and say, ‘I’d like to keep him for a few days and do some bloodwork,’ it’s considered inappropriate.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Doctors Entertainment Health

Bad artists always admire each other’s work.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Art Entertainment

My husband went to Radio Shack and got some dog ears for the TV.

Malaprops Television

TV is chewing gum for the eyes.

(1867 – 1959) architect, interior designer, writer & educator
Entertainment Television

Wet she’s a star; dry she ain’t.

(1891 – 1951) comedian, singer, theater & film actress
Acting Reviews/Criticism

If she was cast as Lady Godiva the horse would steal the show.

Acting Entertainment Insults

Jazz is not dead, it just smells funny.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Entertainment Music

To hell with them small towns, I'll stick to New York.

(1893 – 1980) American singer, pianist, comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment Misspokements

I wish there was a knob on the TV so you could turn up the intelligence; they got one marked “brightness” but it don’t work, does it?

(1946 – ) American comedian
Entertainment Television

In China, the piano piece ‘Chopsticks’ is known as ‘Knife and Fork.’

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Music Places

Actors die so loud.

(1891 – 1980) novelist & painter
Death Entertainment

My husband wanted one of those big-screen TVs for his birthday… so I just moved his chair closer to the one we have already.

(1961 – ) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Television Things

Speak clearly, don't bump into the furniture.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment

He should take the horse hairs out of his bow and return them to the tail of the horse.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Entertainment Music

I Could Never Have Sex With Any Man Who Has So Little Regard For My Husband

(1936 – ) American author, screenwriter, journalist & playwright
Entertainment Film

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Entertainment Television

It resembles a tortoise shell cat having a fit in a plate of tomatoes.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Art Reviews/Criticism

Acting is all about honesty and if you can fake that, you've got it made.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Acting Characteristics Entertainment Honesty