Subject: Entertainment (Page 15)

I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50; so I said, “Give me two boys and a girl.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Entertainment Money

Keir Dullea, gone tomorrow.

(1899 – 1973) English playwright, actor, composer, director & songwriter
Acting Entertainment Reviews/Criticism Wordplay

When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio; if all the stations are rock ‘n’ roll, there’s a good chance the transmission is shot.

(1940 – ) American radio disc jockey
Autos Entertainment Music Things

Like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated tin roof.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Music

Never do card tricks for the group you play poker with.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment

I’ve performed for twelve presidents… and entertained six.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment People Self

I was never so scared in my life… and I was in the war!

(1908 – 2005) English actor
Acting Situations

Ladies, just a little more virginity, if you don't mind.

(1852 – 1917) English actor & theater manager
Acting Entertainment

The secret of my piano playing is that I always make sure that the lid over the keyboard is open before I start to play.

(1882 – 1951) Austrian composer & pianist
Entertainment Music

You ever look for the remote control and can’t find it, so you just decide, ‘Ah, it looks like I’m not watching TV.”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Entertainment Television

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Memory Television

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Beliefs Entertainment Film Opinion

Opera in English is, in the main, just about as sensible as baseball in Italian.

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Baseball Language Music

I only know two tunes: one of them is “Yankee Doodle” and the other isn’t.

(1822 – 1885) 18th U.S. president & army general
Entertainment Music

Why should people go out and pay to see bad movies when they can stay home and see bad television for nothing.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Entertainment Film Television

Opera has made me consider suicide.

(1939 – American actor, comedian & writer
Entertainment

Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.

(1932 – 2011) British-American actress
Entertainment Film

His approach to the microphone is that of an accused man pleading with a hostile jury.

(1927 – 1980) English theatre critic & writer
Entertainment Insults

Hey, Alex – You know the really great thing about television? If something important happens, anywhere in the world, night or day… you can always change the channel.

(1938 – ) American actor
Entertainment Television TV/Movie Quotes

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer
Dating Entertainment Music Relationships

I don’t think he could direct his nephew to the bathroom.

(1937 – ) American film & television actress, director, screenwriter & producer
Entertainment Film Insults