Subject: Entertainment (Page 15)

Keanu Reeves, perhaps worried that he was showing too much range, has purged himself of all expression apart from a worried frown and a sorrowful grimace.

(1966 – ) American journalist & film critic

The Mushroom in Christian Art

I doubt that art needed [John] Ruskin any more than a moving train needs one of its passengers to shove it.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter

We produce more failed pilots than the French air force.

(1958 – ) American actor & producer

At the Academy Award Dinners all the actors and actresses in Hollywood gather around to see what someone else thinks about their acting besides their press agents.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor

You don't even know what they're selling until the very end: three rabbits are on a log, and one of them goes home and hangs himself – 'Buy a bike!'

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter

There are more bad musicians than there is bad music.

(1920 – 2001) Soviet-born violinist & conductor

The world today doesn't make sense, so why should I paint pictures that do? 

(1881 – 1973) Spanish painter, sculptor, printmaker & stage designer

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together; the public doesn’t give a damn what goes on inbetween.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

Politics is developing more comedians than radio ever did.

(1893 – 1980) American singer, pianist, comedian & actor

Theatre director: a person engaged by the management to conceal the fact that the players cannot act.

(1877 – 1947) British diarist & critic

How can I die, I'm booked.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

You might be a redneck if… the most serious loss from the earthquake was your Conway Twitty record collection.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

I know two kinds of audiences only – one coughing, and one not coughing.

(1882 – 1951) Austrian composer & pianist

I hate music, especially when it's played.

(1893 – 1980) American singer, pianist, comedian & actor

Meryl Streep is not here tonight, she has the flu… and I hear she’s amazing in it.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer

Watching Tallulah Bankhead on the stage is like watching somebody skating on thin ice – everyone wants to be there when it breaks.

(1865-1940) English actress

I played a blank tape on full volume; the mime who lives next door complained.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

English Channel: The BBC.

You might be a redneck if… you think 'N Sync is where the dirty dishes go.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality