Subject: Entertainment (Page 19)

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Self Television

There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who’s Mary Astor? … Get me Mary Astor… Get me a Mary Astor type… Get me a young Mary Astor… Who’s Mary Astor?

(1906 – 1987) American actress
Acting Age Entertainment Success

The difference between a violin and a viola is that a viola burns longer.

(1909 – 2000) Danish-born comedian & pianist
Entertainment Music Things

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist
Entertainment Television

Bing Crosby sings like all people think they sing in the shower.

(1916 – 1994) American singer
Entertainment Music

There are only two styles of portrait painting; the serious and the smirk.

(1812 – 1870) English novelist
Art Entertainment

I went to a record store and asked for 50 Cent; they kicked me out for pan-handling.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Entertainment Music

Berlioz composes by splashing his pen over the manuscript and leaving the issue to chance.

(1810 – 1849) Polish composer & virtuoso pianist
Entertainment Insults Music

Listening to the Fifth Symphony of Ralph Vaughan Williams is like staring at a cow for forty-five minutes.

(1900 – 1990) classical composer, teacher, writer & conductor
Entertainment Insults Music

A composer is a guy who goes around forcing his will on unsuspecting air molecules, often with the assistance of unsuspecting musicians.

(1940 – 1993) composer, guitarist, record producer & film director
Entertainment Music Occupations Work

When he was held up by a robber who demanded, "Your money or your life?" Jack's silence while he thought it over was the funniest thing never said on radio.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment

He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Beliefs Entertainment Insults Opinion People

Enraged by Bristol Palin on ‘Dancing,’ Man Shoots TV, Prompts Standoff

Entertainment Headlines Television

Playing Shakespeare is very tiring; you never get to sit down unless you're a king.

(1884 – 1957) American actress
Acting Entertainment

Thou shalt not steal – only from other comedians.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Entertainment

Television: A medium; so called because it is neither rare nor well done.

(1919 – 1962) American comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Television

I love Wagner, but the music I prefer is that of a cat hung up by its tail outside a window and trying to stick to the panes of glass with its claws.

(1821 – 1867) French poet, essayist & art critic
Animals Cats Insults Music

There are two golden rules for an orchestra: start together and finish together; the public doesn’t give a damn what goes on inbetween.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Music

They want to play the blues so badly… and that's how they play it – badly!

American bluesman
Entertainment Insults Music

How can I die, I'm booked.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Death Entertainment

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Entertainment Misspokements Sports Television