Subject: Entertainment (Page 21)

He couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked-bean dinner.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Beliefs Entertainment Insults Opinion People

Get up from that piano; you hurtin' its feelings.

(1885 – 1945) American ragtime pianist, bandleader & composer
Entertainment Music

Critics are like eunuchs in a harem; they know how it’s done, they’ve seen it done every day, but they’re unable to do it themselves.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Beliefs Entertainment Opinion

People think I hate sex; I don’t; I just don’t like things that stop you seeing the television properly.

(1953 – 2016) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter
Entertainment Sex Television

We produce more failed pilots than the French air force.

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Entertainment Television TV/Movie Quotes

Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover.'

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment Self

Never buy a man a plasma TV until you’re married; a lot of men once they have a plasma TV they don’t need a girlfriend.

(1963 – ) American comedian & author
Entertainment Television Things

It resembles a tortoise shell cat having a fit in a plate of tomatoes.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Art Reviews/Criticism

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Golf Speech Sports Television

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Entertainment Misspokements Sports Television

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.

(1840 – 1917) French sculptor
Art Entertainment

The first time I saw you on stage I realized what a wonderful voice you've got; I think you're so brave not to have had it trained.

(1865-1940) English actress
Entertainment Insults Reviews/Criticism

Art, like morality, consists in drawing a line somewhere.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Art Entertainment

The only reason I'm in Hollywood is that I don't have the moral courage to refuse the money.

(1924 – 2004) American actor
Acting Hollywood Money Places

You know, I go to the theatre to be entertained… I don’t want to see plays about rape, sodomy and drug addiction… I can get all that at home.

(1937 – 1995) English satirist, writer & comedian
Entertainment

There is nothing remarkable about it; all one has to do is to hit the right keys at the right time and the instrument plays itself.

(1685 – 1750) German composer & musician
Entertainment Music

Life doesn’t imitate art, it imitates bad television.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Art Entertainment Life Television

Modern dancing is old fashioned.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Dance Misspokements

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die; I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help."

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Death Entertainment Television

The Catholic Church is still very angry about The Da Vinci Code… they don’t like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Film Money

There’s no business like show business, but there are several businesses like accounting.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Work