Subject: Entertainment (Page 21)

I would like to be able to watch the evening news with my family and not have to explain what oral sex means to my wife.

American comedian & writer
Entertainment Sex Television

Which painting in the National Gallery would I save if there was a fire?… the one nearest the door of course.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Art Entertainment Situations

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Acting Communication Entertainment Film Speech

Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands – and all you can do is scratch it.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor
Entertainment Insults Music

Italian chefs screaming risotto recipes at each other.

(1906 – 1975) Greek shipping magnate
Entertainment

One time I went to a drive-in in a taxi cab… the movie cost me $95.00.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Film Money

Agent: Someone who believes an actor takes 85 percent of his money.

Acting Definitions Entertainment

On the TV screen, pure drivel tends to drive off ordinary drivel.

Communication Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech Television

Let’s be honest: Isn’t a lot what we call tap dancing really just nerves?

Entertainment Miscellaneous

I don’t paint things; I only paint the difference between things.

(1869 – 1954) French artist
Art Entertainment

I don’t think he could direct his nephew to the bathroom.

(1937 – ) American film & television actress, director, screenwriter & producer
Entertainment Film Insults

To Raoul Walsh a tender love scene is burning down a whorehouse.

(1892 – 1978) Canadian-American film producer (Warner Brothers)
Acting Entertainment

If there are only two shows worth watching, they will be on at the same time.

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws Television

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Dance Entertainment Intelligence Music

When he was held up by a robber who demanded, "Your money or your life?" Jack's silence while he thought it over was the funniest thing never said on radio.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.

(1912 – 1992) American news journalist
Entertainment Television

I don't watch television, I think it destroys the art of talking about oneself.

(1957 – ) English actor, writer, journalist, comedian & film director
Conversation Entertainment Television

God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.

(1694 – 1778) French author, humanist & satirist
Emotions Entertainment God Laughter

I choose a block of marble and chop off whatever I don’t need.

(1840 – 1917) French sculptor
Art Entertainment

[Memorial services are the] cocktail parties of the geriatric set.

(1902 – 1983) English actor
Age Death Entertainment

Lots of comedians have people they try to mimic… I mimic my shadow.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment