Subject: Entertainment (Page 22)

You ever look for the remote control and can’t find it, so you just decide, ‘Ah, it looks like I’m not watching TV.”

(1966 – ) American stand-up comedian & actor
Entertainment Television

Morality, like art, means a drawing a line someplace.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Art Characteristics Entertainment

The chief objection of playing wind instruments is that it prolongs the life of the player.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Entertainment Music

My friend George is a radio announcer and when he walks under a bridge you can’t hear him talk.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment

Look, it’s my misery that I have to paint this kind of painting, it’s your misery that you have to love it, and the price of the misery is thirteen hundred and fifty dollars.

(1903 – 1970) Russian artist
Art Entertainment

Any fool can paint a picture, but it takes a wise man to be able to sell it.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Entertainment

There was laughter at the back of the theater, leading to the belief that someone was telling jokes back there.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Entertainment

I saw a poster for Mission Impossible III the other day. I thought: It’s not impossible if he’s already done it twice.

(1980 – ) English comedian & novelist
Entertainment Film

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Entertainment Misspokements Sports Television

A composer for one right hand.

(1813 – 1883) German composer, conductor, theatre director & essayist
Entertainment Insults Music

There are three basic rules for great comedy; unfortunately no-one can remember what they are.

(1954 – ) English comedian writer
Entertainment

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Golf Speech Sports Television

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Acting Communication Entertainment Film Speech

I got kicked out of Riverdance for using my arms.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Dance Entertainment

I saw that show, 50 Things To Do Before You Die; I would have thought the obvious one was "Shout For Help."

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Death Entertainment Television

Jane Fonda coming back to the screen after a decade-and-a-half absence in Monster-in-Law is like Brando returning from the dead to star in a Police Academy movie.

(1952 – ) American film critic & columnist
Entertainment Film Insults

You can pick out the actors by the glazed look that comes into their eyes when the conversation wanders away from themselves.

(1912 – 1979) English actor
Acting Characteristics Entertainment

People like to hear me say 'shit' in my gorgeous voice.

(1904 – 2000) English actor, director & producer
Acting Entertainment People Self

All music is folk music; I ain’t never heard no horse sing a song.

(1901 – 1971) American jazz trumpeter and singer
Entertainment Music

Sophia Loren plays peasants; I play ladies.

(1927 – ) Italian actress & photojournalist
Acting People Self

It resembles a tortoise shell cat having a fit in a plate of tomatoes.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Art Reviews/Criticism