Subject: Entertainment (Page 25)

Your pocket radio won't pick up the station you want to hear most.

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws

The only way to amuse some people is to slip and fall on an icy pavement.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Accidents Entertainment Problems

The ice cream truck in my neighborhood plays “Helter Skelter.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Music Situations

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Entertainment Music Science/Weather

A musical is a series of catastrophes ending with a floor show.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Entertainment

Music with dinner is an insult both to the cook and the violinist.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Entertainment Food/Drink Music

Jack Benny would end his act by playing a tune on his violin, so naturally he got a big cheer when he finished.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment Music

When he was held up by a robber who demanded, "Your money or your life?" Jack's silence while he thought it over was the funniest thing never said on radio.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment

The Complete Law and Order boxed set is now available for only $300; the perfect gift for someone unaware of the existence of USA Network.

American comedian
Entertainment Television

The scene is dull; tell him to put more life into his dying.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Acting Entertainment Misspokements

The Catholic Church is still very angry about The Da Vinci Code… they don’t like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Entertainment Film Money

The play opened at 8:40 sharp and closed at 10:40 dull.

(1918 – 2001) American sportswriter, commentator & actor
Entertainment Opinion

The people voting for the Oscars are so old…. I haven’t seen one Academy Award voter with a tampon in her purse.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Entertainment

There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who’s Mary Astor? … Get me Mary Astor… Get me a Mary Astor type… Get me a young Mary Astor… Who’s Mary Astor?

(1906 – 1987) American actress
Acting Age Entertainment Success

There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Life Music Situations

I have no problem not listening to The Temptations.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Music

Shut up Arnold, or I’ll direct this play the way you wrote it!

(1925 – 1990) English theatre, opera & film director
Entertainment

I would rather see the portrait of a dog that I know, than all the allegorical paintings they can show me in the world.

(1709 – 1784) English author, essayist, critic, editor & lexicographer
Art Communication Entertainment

I only know two tunes: one of them is “Yankee Doodle” and the other isn’t.

(1822 – 1885) 18th U.S. president & army general
Entertainment Music

Humor is always based on a modicum of truth; have you ever heard a joke about a father-in-law?

(1929 – 2012) American radio & television personality
Entertainment

All my shows are great; some of them are bad, but they are all great.

(1906 – 1998) Russian-born English film producer & media mogul
Entertainment Film