Subject: Entertainment (Page 30)

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and then selling your story to TV.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Entertainment Television

Bad artists always admire each other’s work.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Art Entertainment

You know what I think about people who don't like rape jokes… f**k em!

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment

My Comedy Channel – Fox News

My News Channel Comedy Central

Entertainment Signs Television

Welcome to the Academy Awards or, as it's called at my home, 'Passover.'

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Entertainment Self

Dealing with network executives is like being nibbled to death by ducks.

(1912 – 1992) American news journalist
Entertainment Television

Nine times out of ten in the arts, as in life, there is actually no truth to be discovered; there is only error to be exposed.

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws

Acting is merely the art of keeping a large number of people from coughing.

(1902 – 1983) English actor
Acting Entertainment Occupations

Stand-Up [comedy] is a lot like sex; there's a lot of crying involved and I get paid to do it.

(1982 – ) American actress & comedian
Entertainment Money Sex

The last time I acted my name was so low on the program that I was getting orders for the printing.

(1926 – 2012) Irish comedian & actor
Acting Entertainment

You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Conflict Entertainment Sex Television

Can’t act… slightly bald… also dances.

Acting Dance Entertainment

You know I'm the only Iraqi comedian… yeah true… at least that makes us three more than Germany.

(1965 – ) British-Iranian comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Occupations People Places Work

I am thinking it right but beating it wrong.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment Misspokements Music

When Jack Benny plays the violin, it sounds as if the strings are still in the cat.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Animals Cats Entertainment Music

After Rossini dies, who will there be to promote his music?

(1813 – 1883) German composer, conductor, theatre director & essayist
Entertainment Insults Music

If all the world is a stage, and all the men and women merely players, where do all the audiences come from?

(1922 – ) English comedy writer & television presenter
Entertainment Miscellaneous

I don’t want to say too much about illegal immigration; I’m afraid my views will be reported on the Cinco O’Clock News.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign
People Television

Why should people go out and pay to see bad movies when they can stay home and see bad television for nothing.

(1879 – 1974) film producer
Entertainment Film Television

I used to be a mime…. but now I can talk about it…

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Communication Entertainment Occupations Speech Work

Give them pleasure – the same pleasure they have when they wake up from a nightmare.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Emotions Entertainment Film