Subject: Entertainment (Page 32)

The Complete Law and Order boxed set is now available for only $300; the perfect gift for someone unaware of the existence of USA Network.

American comedian

Longfellow is to poetry what the barrel-organ is to music.

(1886 – 1963) literary critic, biographer & historian

There's no thief like a bad movie.

(1920 – 2001) American writer & humorist

I went to the cinema, and the prices were: Adults $5.00, children $2.50; so I said, “Give me two boys and a girl.”

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer

Whatever happens, look as if it was intended.

It's bad when they don't perform your operas – but when they do, it's far worse.

(1835 – 1921) French Late-Romantic composer, conductor & pianist

Director: The one who always faces the music.

It’s difficult to remember when you haven’t played it before.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist

Oh say can you see, by the dawn’s early light. What so proudly we hailed. Of thee I sing.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

We idolized the Beatles, except for those of us who idolized the Rolling Stones, who in those days still had many of their original teeth.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist

You spend all your time trying to do what they put people in asylums for.

(1937 – ) American actress, writer, political activist, & fitness exponent

Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

A body at rest tends to watch television.

I can't get a relationship to last longer than it takes to make copies of their tapes.

stand-up comedian, actor, writer & producer

If it's a good script I'll do it; and if it's a bad script, and they pay me enough, I'll do it.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

Berlioz, musically speaking, is a lunatic; a classical composer only in Paris, the great city of quacks.

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

Like two skeletons copulating on a corrugated tin roof.

(1879 – 1961) English conductor

The Catholic Church is still very angry about The Da Vinci Code… they don’t like anything that makes more money in a weekend than they do.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host

When you are about 35 years old, something terrible always happens to music.

(1921 – 2009) British composer, pianist and radio & television presenter

Harp: A piano in the nude.