Subject: Entertainment (Page 33)

Television has raised writing to a new low.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

I really detest movies like Indecent Proposal and Pretty Woman because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal; and really that’s such a small part of it.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer

Shakespeare is so tiring; you never get a chance to sit down unless you’re a king.

(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist

[The First Wives Club] had strong American values: divorce, alcoholism, plastic surgery and revenge.

(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian

I can’t listen to that much Wagner… I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian

[Art is] the reasoned derangement of the senses.

(1905 – 1982) American poet, translator & critical essayist

Jack Benny would end his act by playing a tune on his violin, so naturally he got a big cheer when he finished.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

(1961 – 1994) comedian

If he’d been making shell cases during the war it might have been better for music.

(1835 – 1921) French Late-Romantic composer, conductor & pianist

If more than ten per cent of the population likes a painting, it should be burned, for it must be bad.

(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist

Acting is really about lying and, in my case, drinking coffee.

(1963 – ) American actor & producer

All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.

(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist

If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation.

(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and selling your story to T.V.!

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Why should people go out and pay to see bad movies when they can stay home and see bad television for nothing.

(1879 – 1974) film producer

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist

Bing Crosby sings like all people think they sing in the shower.

(1916 – 1994) American singer

Whatever happens, look as if it was intended.

He should take the horse hairs out of his bow and return them to the tail of the horse.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

Someone came too sooner.

(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist

Your pocket radio won't pick up the station you want to hear most.