Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Entertainment
(Page 33)
Television has raised writing to a new low.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Communication
Entertainment
Misspokements
Reading/Writing
Television
I really detest movies like
Indecent Proposal
and
Pretty Woman
because they send a message to women that sleeping with a rich man is the ultimate goal; and really that’s such a small part of it.
Laura Kightlinger
(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Entertainment
Film
Sex
Women
Indecent Proposal
Pretty Woman
Shakespeare is so tiring; you never get a chance to sit down unless you’re a king.
George S. Kaufman
(1889 – 1961) Am. playwright, theater director & producer & humorist
Acting
Entertainment
Shakespeare
[The First Wives Club] had strong American values: divorce, alcoholism, plastic surgery and revenge.
Bette Midler
(1945 – ) singer, actress & comedian
Entertainment
Film
American values
I can’t listen to that much Wagner… I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.
Woody Allen
(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Conflict
Entertainment
Music
Places
War
Poland
Wagner
[Art is] the reasoned derangement of the senses.
Kenneth Rexroth
(1905 – 1982) American poet, translator & critical essayist
Art
Entertainment
Jack Benny would end his act by playing a tune on his violin, so naturally he got a big cheer when he finished.
George Burns
(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment
Music
Applause
Jack Benny
Violin
I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.
Bill Hicks
(1961 – 1994) comedian
Entertainment
Television
If he’d been making shell cases during the war it might have been better for music.
Charles-Camille Saint-Saëns
(1835 – 1921) French Late-Romantic composer, conductor & pianist
Entertainment
Insults
Music
On composer Maurice Ravel
If more than ten per cent of the population likes a painting, it should be burned, for it must be bad.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Art
Entertainment
Painting
Acting is really about lying and, in my case, drinking coffee.
Johnny Depp
(1963 – ) American actor & producer
Acting
Entertainment
All the world’s a stage and most of us are desperately unrehearsed.
Sean O’Casey
(1880 – 1964) Irish dramatist
Entertainment
Life
World
Stage
Theater
If Beethoven had been killed in a plane crash at the age of 22, it would have changed the history of music… and of aviation.
Tom Stoppard
(1937 – ) British playwright & screenwriter
Entertainment
Music
Science/Weather
Aviation
Beethoven
Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and selling your story to T.V.!
Alfred E. Neuman
fictional mascot and cover boy of
Mad
, an American humor magazine
Conflict
Crime
Entertainment
Television
Why should people go out and pay to see bad movies when they can stay home and see bad television for nothing.
Samuel Goldwyn
(1879 – 1974) film producer
Entertainment
Film
Television
My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.
Peter De Vries
(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Entertainment
Television
Radio
Bing Crosby sings like all people think
they
sing in the shower.
Dinah Shore
(1916 – 1994) American singer
Entertainment
Music
Bing Crosby
Whatever happens, look as if it was intended.
First Rule of Acting
Acting
Entertainment
Murphy’s Laws
Situations
He should take the horse hairs out of his bow and return them to the tail of the horse.
Fred Allen
(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Entertainment
Music
Jack Benny
Violin
Someone came too sooner.
Eugene Ormandy
(1899 – 1985) Hungarian-born conductor & violinist
Entertainment
Misspokements
Music
Your pocket radio won't pick up the station you want to hear most.
Zelman's Rule of Radio Reception
Entertainment
Murphy’s Laws
Radios
Page 33 of 37
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