Subject: Entertainment (Page 8)

The marvelous thing about a joke with a double meaning is that it can only mean one thing.

(1929 – 2005) British actor & comedian
Communication Entertainment Language

My husband went to Radio Shack and got some dog ears for the TV.

Malaprops Television

Man: Mr. Melon, your wife was just showing us her Klimt [an Austrian painter].

Thornton Melon: You too, huh? She’s shown it to everybody.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Art TV/Movie Quotes

U2’s lawyers work pro bono.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Entertainment Lawyers Music

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Golf Speech Sports Television

Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl.

(1916 – 1987) television actor & comedian
Characteristics Emotions Entertainment

I went to a record store and asked for 50 Cent; they kicked me out for pan-handling.

(1966 – ) American stand-up comic
Entertainment Music

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)
Entertainment Misspokements Television

People think I hate sex; I don’t; I just don’t like things that stop you seeing the television properly.

(1953 – 2016) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter
Entertainment Sex Television

I watched the directors’ cut of a porn film… at the end he actually fixes the washing machine.

Entertainment Film

Jack Benny would end his act by playing a tune on his violin, so naturally he got a big cheer when he finished.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer
Entertainment Music

Men don’t care what’s on TV… they only care what else is on TV.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Entertainment Men People Television

When I dance, people think I’m looking for my keys.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Dance Entertainment Self

The first time I saw you on stage I realized what a wonderful voice you've got; I think you're so brave not to have had it trained.

(1836 – 1911) English dramatist, librettist, poet & illustrator
Acting Insults Reviews/Criticism

The titles are listed on the movie theater marquis.

Entertainment Malaprops

When buying a used car, punch the buttons on the radio; if all the stations are rock ‘n’ roll, there’s a good chance the transmission is shot.

(1940 – ) American radio disc jockey
Autos Entertainment Music Things

Begathon: A multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so you won't have to watch commercials.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician
Entertainment Television

You got to have smelt a lot of mule manure before you can sing like a hillbilly.

(1923 – 1953) American singer & songwriter
Entertainment

I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Entertainment Television

Those who dance are considered insane by those who cannot hear the music.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Dance Entertainment Intelligence Music

No great artist ever sees things as they really are; if he did, he would cease to be an artist.

(1854 – 1900) Irish dramatist, novelist & poet
Art Entertainment