Subject: Entertainment » Television

This is good because up until now, the only channel to find 24-hour coverage of the NFL players was Court TV.

(1963 – ) television host & comedian

As long as people will accept crap, it will be financially profitable to dispense it.

(1936 – ) television talk show host

Argentina invaded the Falklands because they had ESPN and the Argentines wanted to get the late scores.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

Do you realize if it weren't for Edison we'd be watching TV by candlelight?

disc jockey, screenwriter & humorist

It was so beautiful today that I only watched four hours of “Law & Order” in my apartment.

(1982 – ) American comedian, actor, writer & producer

I know what the public want because I am one of them.

(1906 – 1998) Russian-born English film producer & media mogul

There’s nothing but porn on TV these days. I tell you, it makes me so angry, I sit on the end of my bed and shake my fist at it.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

A body at rest tends to watch television.

I have high-definition television, because I felt the lack of resolution was affecting my ability to solve cases on C.S.I.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host

In honor of the late George Carlin, here are seven more words you can't say on TV: "And the Emmy goes to Bob Saget."

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author

I'm just trying to make a smudge on the collective unconscious.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host

In Russia we only had two TV channels: Channel One was propaganda, Channel Two consisted of a KGB officer telling you: “Turn back at once to Channel One.”

(1951 – ) Soviet-American comedian

Television? … The word is half Latin and half Greek; no good can come of it.

(1846 – 1932) British journalist, publisher & politician

I wish there was a knob on the TV so you could turn up the intelligence; they got one marked “brightness” but it don’t work, does it?

(1946 – ) American comedian

You know the really great thing about television? If something important happens, anywhere in the world, night or day… you can always change the channel.

(1938 – ) American actor

My husband went to Radio Shack and got some dog ears for the TV.

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

I don’t want to say too much about illegal immigration; I’m afraid my views will be reported on the Cinco O’Clock News.

(1927 – 1997) Am. comedian & satirist notable for mock presidential campaign

Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

Television: A medium; so called because it is neither rare nor well done.

(1919 – 1962) American comedian, actor & writer

On the TV screen, pure drivel tends to drive off ordinary drivel.