Subject: Entertainment » Television

People think I hate sex; I don’t; I just don’t like things that stop you seeing the television properly.

(1953 – 2016) British comedian, actress, singer & screenwriter

Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer

ESPN is like your family, it’s always there: the networks are like your mother-in-law… they are there on the weekends.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and then selling your story to TV.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine

Then we figured out we could just park them in front of the TV; that's how I was raised and I turned out TV.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)

On an average day 7 minutes of news happens. Yet there are currently three full-time, 24-hour news networks.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian

I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host

Begathon: A multi-day event on public television, used to raise money so you won't have to watch commercials.

(1954 – ) American comedian, writer & musician

The one function that TV news performs very well is that, when there is no news, we give it you with the same emphasis as if there were.

(1920 – 2003) American television newscaster

Television is the triumph of machine over people.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian

Never pass up a chance to have sex or appear on television.

(1925 – 2012) author, playwright, essayist & screenwriter

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

I bought a portable cable TV.

comedian

MTV is to music as KFC is to chicken.

(1948 – ) stand-up comedian, actor, author & playwright

Argentina invaded the Falklands because they had ESPN and the Argentines wanted to get the late scores.

(1931 – 2012) American college football historian & television commentator

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator

My husband went to Radio Shack and got some dog ears for the TV.

You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality

Entertainment is a thing of the past, today we’ve got television.

television character, All In the Family (Carroll O’Connor)

TV: a clever contraction, derived from the words Terrible Vaudeville; we call it a medium, because nothing's well done.

(Aiskowitz) (1899 – 1982) humorist