Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 4)

The Three Ages of Marriage: Twenty is when you watch the TV after; Forty is when you watch the TV during; Sixty is when you watch the TV instead.

Entertainment Marriage Sex Television

I have high-definition television, because I felt the lack of resolution was affecting my ability to solve cases on C.S.I.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Entertainment Television

I bought a portable cable TV.

comedian
Situations Television Things

The first Presidential debate was down in Florida and residents spent all day putting plywood on their televisions.

(1947 – ) comedian & television host
President Television

The prize on that show: another contestant.

(1963 – ) Canadian writer, actor & stand-up comedian
Entertainment Television

My father hated radio and could not wait for television to be invented so he could hate that too.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Entertainment Television

I don’t like to watch golf on television because I can’t stand people who whisper.

(1936 – 2014) American standup comedian, actor & author
Golf Speech Sports Television

I don't like sex on television… I keep falling off.


Sex Television

You cannot turn on your television without seeing them, although sometimes you have to hunt around.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Conflict Entertainment Sex Television

You know you’re getting old when you start watching golf on TV and enjoying it.

(1953 – ) American comedian, actor, voice artist, & columnist
Age Entertainment Golf Old Television

Television? … The word is half Latin and half Greek; no good can come of it.

(1846 – 1932) British journalist, publisher & politician
Entertainment Television

I would like to be able to watch the evening news with my family and not have to explain what oral sex means to my wife.

American comedian & writer
Entertainment Sex Television

I know what the public want because I am one of them.

(1906 – 1998) Russian-born English film producer & media mogul
Entertainment Film People Television

You might be a redneck if… your down where you come from reruns of Hee Haw are called documentaries.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment Intelligence People Rednecks Television

I can think of nothing more boring for the American people than to have to sit in their living rooms for a whole half hour looking at my face on their television screens.

(1890 – 1969) 34th U.S. president, U.S. Army General
Entertainment Television

You might be a redneck if… the Home Shopping operator recognizes your voice.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Entertainment People Rednecks Shopping Television

You might be a redneck if… you bought a VCR so you could tape wrestling while you are at work.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Activities People Rednecks Television

You're flickin' around, all of a sudden – boom – you're watching a mole for an hour-and-a-half.

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & actor
Entertainment Science/Weather Television

Nowadays, the perfect crime is getting caught and then selling your story to TV.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Conflict Crime Entertainment Television

The program you've been looking forward to all week will be preempted.

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws Television

On the TV screen, pure drivel tends to drive off ordinary drivel.

Communication Intelligence Murphy’s Laws Speech Television