Subject: Entertainment » Television (Page 5)

I wanted to make it really special on Valentine's Day, so I tied my boyfriend up… and for three solid hours I watched whatever I wanted on TV.

American comedian
Entertainment Television

Television: A medium; so called because it is neither rare nor well done.

(1919 – 1962) American comedian, actor & writer
Entertainment Television

Men don’t care what’s on TV… they only care what else is on TV.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Entertainment Men People Television

For those of you watching who do not have television sets, live commentary is on Radio 2.

(1926 – ) English sports commentator
Colemanballs Entertainment Misspokements Sports Television

I would like to be able to watch the evening news with my family and not have to explain what oral sex means to my wife.

American comedian & writer
Entertainment Sex Television

When will I learn? The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a bottle, they’re on TV!

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Television TV/Movie Quotes

I don't know what was wrong with my television last night, but I was getting C-Span and the Home Shopping Network on the same station, and I actually bought a congressman.

(1951 – ) American comedian & writer
Congress Entertainment Government Politicians Television

Television: A means of getting a babysitter so Mom and Dad can get out to the movies.

Definitions Entertainment Television

Television is like the American toaster, you push the button and the same thing pops up every time.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Entertainment Television

I think TV is very educational; every time someone turns on a TV, I go in the other room and read.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Communication Education Entertainment Reading/Writing Television

Radio is the theater of the mind; television is the theater of the mindless.

(1921 – 2000) comedian, television host, musician, actor & writer
Entertainment Intelligence Television

I saw a commercial on late night TV, it said,“Forget everything you know about slipcovers,” so I did, and it was a load off my mind; then the commercial tried to sell me slipcovers, and I didn’t know what the hell they were.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Entertainment Memory Television

In honor of the late George Carlin, here are seven more words you can't say on TV: "And the Emmy goes to Bob Saget."

(1965 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor, director & author
Communication Entertainment Language Television

It used to be that we in films were the lowest form of art; now we have something to look down on.

(1906 – 2002) Austrian journalist, filmmaker, screenwriter & producer
Entertainment Television

Television has brought back murder into the home – where it belongs.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Entertainment Television

A body at rest tends to watch television.

Entertainment Murphy’s Laws Television

Television has done much for psychiatry by spreading information about it, as well as contributing to the need for it.

(1899 – 1980) English filmmaker & producer
Entertainment Health Television

I can’t watch TV longer than five minutes without praying for nuclear holocaust.

(1961 – 1994) comedian
Entertainment Television

You know the really great thing about television? If something important happens, anywhere in the world, night or day… you can always change the channel.

(1938 – ) American actor
Entertainment Television TV/Movie Quotes

If it weren't for the fact that the TV set and the refrigerator are so far apart, some of us wouldn't get any exercise at all.

(1911 – 1999) comedian, author & columnist
Activities Exercise Television

Sometimes cameras and television are good to people and sometimes they aren’t; I don’t know if it’s the way you say it, or how you look.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Communication Entertainment Misspokements Television