Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Epitaphs
(Page 2)
My sledge and anvil lie declined, my bellows too have lost their wind; my fire’s extinct, my forge decay’d. And in the dust my body’s laid: my coal is out, my iron’s gone, my nails are drove, my work is done.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
A Shropshire England blacksmith
Here Betsy Brown her body lies. Her soul is flying in the skies. While here on earth she oftimes spun six hundred skeins from sun to sun, and wove one day, her daughter brags, two hundred pounds of carpet rags.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
He had sand in his craw, But was slow on the draw, So we planted him ‘neath the daisies.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Grim death took me without any warning, I was well at night, and died in the morning.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Sevenoaks Kent England
Office upstairs.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Dr. Fred Roberts Brookland Arkansas
Here lies a lewd Fellow, who, while he drew Breath, In the Midst of his Life was in Quest of his Death; Which he quickly obtain'd for it cost him his Life, For being in Bed with another Man's Wife.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Dear God: enclosed, please find Rube Goldberg. Now that you’ve got him, what are you going to do with him?
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Cartoonist Rube Goldberg in Hawthorne New York
Here lies Barnard Lightfoot Who was accidentally killed in the 45th year of his age. This monument was erected by his grateful family.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
I don’t want to talk about it now.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Los Angeles
Here lies the body of John Mound, lost at sea and never found.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
One Errant Female Has Fun – The Ornament of Her Generation – Beautiful. Witty. Brilliant. Talented. Elegant. Charming. Frugal and Modest. – Erected By Herself
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Eleanor Stauffen Herman (1960)
Louise. – The Unfortunate.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Here's to Johnny quite a guy. Very sad he had to die. All was well could not be better, Till he wrote my girl a letter.
Epitaph
Conflict
Epitaphs
Girlfriends
Killing
Here lies the body of Obadiah Wilkinson – And Bulb, his wife. – Their warfare is accomplished.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
New Haven Connecticut
“I’m just resting my eyes”
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Gloria Russell (1926-2000)
Here lies the body of Jonathan Stout. He fell in the water and never got out, And still is supposed to be floating about.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Birmingham England
Here lie the remains of John Hall, grocer. The world is not worth a fig, and I have good
raisins
for saying so.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
A thousand ways cut short our days, none are exempt from death. A honey-bee by stinging me did stop my mortal breath.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Here lies George Johnson, He was right, We was wrong, But we strung him up, And now he's gone
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Here lies the body of Mary Ann Lowder. She burst while drinking a Seidlitz powder. Called from this world to her heavenly rest, she should have waited till it effervesced.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Burlington Vermont
… Going! Going!! Gone!!!
Epitaph
Epitaphs
An auctioneer
Jedediah Goodwin an auctioneer
Page 2 of 30
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