Subject: Epitaphs (Page 2)

My sledge and anvil lie declined, my bellows too have lost their wind; my fire’s extinct, my forge decay’d. And in the dust my body’s laid: my coal is out, my iron’s gone, my nails are drove, my work is done.

Here Betsy Brown her body lies. Her soul is flying in the skies. While here on earth she oftimes spun six hundred skeins from sun to sun, and wove one day, her daughter brags, two hundred pounds of carpet rags.

He had sand in his craw, But was slow on the draw, So we planted him ‘neath the daisies.

Grim death took me without any warning, I was well at night, and died in the morning.

Office upstairs.

Here lies a lewd Fellow, who, while he drew Breath, In the Midst of his Life was in Quest of his Death; Which he quickly obtain'd for it cost him his Life, For being in Bed with another Man's Wife.

Dear God: enclosed, please find Rube Goldberg. Now that you’ve got him, what are you going to do with him?

Here lies Barnard Lightfoot Who was accidentally killed in the 45th year of his age. This monument was erected by his grateful family.

I don’t want to talk about it now.

Here lies the body of John Mound, lost at sea and never found.

One Errant Female Has Fun – The Ornament of Her Generation – Beautiful. Witty. Brilliant. Talented. Elegant. Charming. Frugal and Modest. – Erected By Herself

Louise. – The Unfortunate.

Here's to Johnny quite a guy. Very sad he had to die. All was well could not be better, Till he wrote my girl a letter.

Here lies the body of Obadiah Wilkinson – And Bulb, his wife. – Their warfare is accomplished.

“I’m just resting my eyes”

Here lies the body of Jonathan Stout. He fell in the water and never got out, And still is supposed to be floating about.

Here lie the remains of John Hall, grocer. The world is not worth a fig, and I have good raisins for saying so.

A thousand ways cut short our days, none are exempt from death. A honey-bee by stinging me did stop my mortal breath.

Here lies George Johnson, He was right, We was wrong, But we strung him up, And now he's gone

Here lies the body of Mary Ann Lowder. She burst while drinking a Seidlitz powder. Called from this world to her heavenly rest, she should have waited till it effervesced.

… Going! Going!! Gone!!!