Subject: Epitaphs (Page 2)

They abounded in riches but she wore the britches

Here lieth, underneath these stones, The Beard, the Flesh, and eke the Bones Of Wrexham's Clerk, old Daniel Jones.

Dear God: enclosed, please find Rube Goldberg. Now that you’ve got him, what are you going to do with him?

He didn't believe in God; And when he did, they argued.

How sleep the brave who sink to rest, by all their country's wishes blest, they sleep not in their regimentals. Such things being here not deemed essentials.

Neal Keven – His accounts were found square to a cent.

Sacred to twins Charlie and Varlie. Sons of loving parents who died in infancy.

Stephen and Time are now both even. Stephen beat Time and now Time's beat Stephen.

Here lies Johnny Cole. Who died upon my soul after eating a plentiful dinner. While chewing his crust he was turned into dust with his crimes undigested – poor sinner.

Here lies Ezekiel Aikle Age 102 – The Good Die Young.

Here lies young Ezikel Height, died from jumping Jim Smith’s claim; didn’t happen at the mining site, the claim he jumped, was Jim Smith’s dame.

Here lies Scott Jacobson – Who came upon an evil lich, he didn't even think to run, and ended up in this ditch

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist

Here lies Thomas Smith and what is somewhat rareish, he was born bred and hanged in this e’er parish.

That's all, folks!

(1908 – 1989) voice actor & comedian (voice of cartoon character Porky Pig)

Here lies a man beneath this sod, – Who slandered all except his God, – And him he would have slandered too, – But that his God he never knew.

I came I know not whence, I go I know not whither.

My candle burns at both ends, – It will not last the night, – But Oh, my foes, – And Ah, my friends, – It gives a lovely light

Here lies the body of Thomas Kemp, Who lived by wool and died by hemp

The wedding-day appointed was, and wedding clothes provided, before the nuptial day, alas! He sickened and he die did.

Here I lie, taken from life.