Subject: Epitaphs (Page 2)

Factory Reject

Epitaphs

I had a lover's quarrel with the world

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim. We made the mistake, but the joke's on him.

Epitaphs

Charity, wife of Gideon Bligh, underneath this stone doth lie. Nought was she e'er known to do, that her husband told her to.

Epitaphs

Open, open wide ye golden gates that lead to the heavenly shore. Our father suffered in passing through and mother weighs much more.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Lady O'Looney, Grand-niece to Edmund Burke, Commonly called "the sublime." She was bland, passionate, and religious. Also, She painted in water-colors. Also, She sent several articles to the Exhibition.

Epitaphs

Here lies Dodge, who dodged all good, and dodged a deal of evil. But after dodging all he could, he could not dodge the devil.

Epitaphs

Beneath this stone a lump of clay, lies Uncle Peter Dan'els – who early in the month of May, took off his winter flannels.

Epitaphs

Blown upward out of sight: he sought the leak by candlelight

Epitaphs

Planted here beneath sod. At peaceful rest lies brother Claude

Epitaphs

When I was in the military, they gave me a medal for killing two men and a discharge for loving one.

Epitaphs

Martha and I together lived – Just two years and a half; – She went first, and I followed after – the cow before the calf.

Epitaphs

This Ain’t Bad _____ Once You Get Used To It

Epitaphs

Here lies my poor wife, much lamented, She is happy and I am contented.

Epitaphs

As a stranger she did die, in strange lands she doth lie. Here by strangers she was laid, and her funeral charges paid.

Epitaphs

Beneath this smooth stone by the bone of his bone, Sleeps Master John Gill; By lies when alive this attorney did thrive, And now that he's dead he lies still.

Epitaphs

Wherever you be, let your wind go free. For holding it in, was the killing of me.

Epitaphs

Here lies old Rastus Sominy – died a-eating hominy, In 1859 anno domini

Epitaphs

A man of letters it seems was he; the college made him L.L.D. The Order a P.G.W.C. Grim death has given him the G.B., and may his ashes R.I.P.

Epitaphs

Here I at length repose, My spirit now at aise is; With the tips of my toes And the point of my nose Turned up to the roots of the daisies.

Epitaphs

A peerless matron, pride of female life In every state, as widow, maid, or wife; who wedded, to threescore preserved her fame. She lived a phoenix, and expired in flame.

Epitaphs