Subject: Epitaphs (Page 20)

Here lies old Jones, who all his life collected bones, till death, that grim and bony spectre, that all-amassing bone collector, boned old Jones, so neat and tidy, that here he lies all bona fide.

Epitaphs

Stephen and Time are now both even. Stephen beat Time and now Time's beat Stephen.

Epitaphs

Here lies the worst king and the most miserable man in the kingdom.

Epitaphs

Here lies my wife, here lies she; Hallelujah! Hallelujee!

Epitaphs

She tormented him until he dried up like a bundle of Straw.

Epitaphs

Fhebe Sprague. – In the sixteenth year of her age, – Natively quick and spry – As all young people be, – When God commands them down to dust, – How quick they drop you see.

Epitaphs

Here lies Dodge, who dodged all good, and dodged a deal of evil. But after dodging all he could, he could not dodge the devil.

Epitaphs

His virtues and his pills are so well known, that envy can’t confine them under stone.

Epitaphs

Grim death took me without any warning. I was well at night, and dead in the morning.

Epitaphs

Here lies the wife of brother Thomas, whom tyrant death has torn from us, her husband never shed a tear, until his wife was buried here. And then he made a fearful rout, for fear she might find her way out.

Epitaphs

Little Johnny had a purple monkey, climbing up a yellow stick, little Johnny licked the purple paint of and it made him deathly sick. They stirred him up with calomel, they tried to move his liver, but all in vain, his little soul was wafted o'er the River.

Epitaphs

Toothless Nell (Alice Chambers) Killed 1876 in a Dance Hall brawl. Her last words: "Circumstances led me to this end."

Epitaphs

Sacred to Wm Collis boat-steerer of the ship St George of New Bedford, who by the will of Almighty God was killed by a whale off this Island

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.

Epitaphs

"Lord, thy grace is free, — why not for me?"

And the Lord answered and said, — "Because thy debts aint paid I”

Epitaphs

He was a simple man who died of complications.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Arkansas Jim. We made the mistake, but the joke's on him.

Epitaphs

Now Go Away and Leave Me Alone

Epitaphs

The Yankees came South in droves and bands, To conquer our fair Southern lands. But this little plot, In this quiet spot, was all the land this damn Yankee got.

Epitaphs

Who lies here ? — Who do you think? 'Tis poor Will Gibson — give him a drink. Give him a drink, I'll tell you for why, when he was living, he always was dry.

Epitaphs

Here lies entombed one Roger Morton, whose sudden death was early brought on; trying one day his corn to mow off, the razor slipped and cut his toe off. The toe, or rather what it grew to, an inflammation quickly flew to; the parts they took to mortifying, And poor dear Roger took to dying.

Epitaphs