Subject: Epitaphs (Page 23)

Here lies Donnie Cornwell, good and dead. In an extra large coffin to fit his extra large head.

Epitaphs

For a good time, dig.

Epitaphs

Beloved Husband of Joan, A Man With Nature, Who Loved Life & His Jigsaws – "Didjabringabeer"

Epitaphs

Our papa dear has gone to Heaven, to make arrangements for eleven.

Epitaphs

Here into the dust, the mouldering crust, of Eleanour Bachelour's shoven; well versed in the arts of pies, custards, and tarts. And the lucrative skill of the oven. When she lived long enough, she made her last puff, a puff by her husband much praised, now here she doth lie and makes a dirt pie, in hopes that her crust shall be raised.

Epitaphs

Here lies Johnny Cole. Who died upon my soul after eating a plentiful dinner. While chewing his crust he was turned into dust with his crimes undigested – poor sinner.

Epitaphs

Heave a sigh For old John Doak. He didn't know His brakes were broke

Epitaphs

I Made Some Good Deals and I Made Some Bad Ones. I Really Went in the Hole With This One.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Robert Lowe. Whither he’s gone I do not know. If to the realms of peace and love, farewell to happiness above. If to a place of lower level, I don’t congratulate the d…l.

Epitaphs

Sudden and unexpected was the end – Of our esteemed and beloved friend, – He gave to all his friends a sudden shock – By one day falling into Sunderland dock.

Epitaphs

Wherever you be, let your wind go free. For holding it in, was the killing of me.

Epitaphs

My trip is ended: send my samples home

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Martha Dias, Who was always uneasy and not over pious, She liv'd to the age of threescore and ten, And gave that to the worms she refus'd to the men.

Epitaphs

Robert Phillip, gravedigger: Here I lie at the Chancel door; Here lie I because I am poor; The farther in the more you pay; Here I lie as warm as they.

Epitaphs

It is so soon that I am done for, I wonder what I was begun for.

Epitaphs

H. L. Mencken 1880 – 1956 – If after I depart this vale you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner, and wink your eye at some homely girl

Epitaphs

John Macpherson Was a remarkable person. He stood six feet two Without his shoe, And he was slew At Waterloo.

Epitaphs

Tom Smith is dead, and here he lies, nobody laughs and nobody cries; where his soul's gone, or how it fares, nobody knows, and nobody cares.

Epitaphs

At length a grave spots for him provided, where all through him so many of us died did.

Epitaphs

Here lies the worst king and the most miserable man in the kingdom.

Epitaphs

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down – it was.

Epitaphs