Subject: Epitaphs (Page 24)

… Here lie the bones of Sophie Jones; for her death held no terrors. She was born a maid and died a maid. No hits, no runs, no heirs.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Ephraim Wise. Safely tucked between his two wives. One was Tillie and the other Sue. Both were faithful, loyal, and true. By his request in ground that's hilly. His coffin is set tilted toward Tillie.

Epitaphs

He looked for gold and died of lead poison

Epitaphs

Here I lie, taken from life.

Epitaphs

Fate cuts the thread of life, as all men know, and Fate cut his, though he so well could sew. It matters not how fine the web is spun, ‘tis all unravelled when our course is run.

Epitaphs

Here Lies Good Old Fred – A Great Big Rock Fell On His Head – R.I.P.

Epitaphs

Here lays Butch. We planted him raw. He was quick on the trigger – But slow on the draw.

Epitaphs

Here lies old Rastus Sominy – died a-eating hominy, In 1859 anno domini

Epitaphs

Here into the dust, the mouldering crust, of Eleanour Bachelour's shoven; well versed in the arts of pies, custards, and tarts. And the lucrative skill of the oven. When she lived long enough, she made her last puff, a puff by her husband much praised, now here she doth lie and makes a dirt pie, in hopes that her crust shall be raised.

Epitaphs

To the memory of Ric Richards who by a gangrene first lost a toe, then a leg and lastly his life.

Epitaphs

Excuse my dust.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Epitaphs Self

Here lies old Aunt Hannah Proctor who purged but didn't call the doctor: she couldn't stay, she had to go praise God from whom all blessings flow.

Epitaphs

Under this yew tree, buried would he be, because his father – he planted this yew tree.

Epitaphs

I was not, I am not, I grieve not

Epitaphs

Jonathan Grober died dead sober. Lord thy wonders never cease.

Epitaphs

He got a fish-bone in his throat and then he sang an angel's note.

Epitaphs

No doctor ever physicked me, was never near my side. But when fever came I thought of the name, and that was enough – I died.

Epitaphs

Ellen Shannon age 26 years, Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with "R. E. Danforth's Non-Explosive-Burning Fluid."

Epitaphs

OK . . . I gotta go now.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Jonathan Ground, who was lost at sea and never found.

Epitaphs

Eliza, sorrowing rears this marble slab to her dear John who died of eating crab.

Epitaphs