Subject: Epitaphs (Page 26)

Beneath this smooth stone by the bone of his bone – Sleeps Master John Gill; – By lies when alive this attorney did thrive, – And now that he's dead he lies still.

Epitaphs Lawyers Lies

36-33-01-24-17 – Honey you don't know what you did for me, – Always playing the lottery. – The numbers you picked came in to play, – Two days after you passed away. – For this, a huge monument I do erect, – For now I get a yearly check. – How I wish you were alive, – For now we are worth 8.5

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Edward Hyde. We laid him here because he died.

Epitaphs

Well this was fun, let's dit again sometime.

Epitaphs

The death angel struck Alexander McGlue and gave him protracted repose; he wore a checked shirt and a No. 9 shoe And had a pink wart on his nose. No doubt he is happy a-dwelling in space over on the evergreen shore. His friends are informed that his funeral takes place at precisely a quarter past four.

Epitaphs

Beneath this grassy Mound now rests One Edgar Oscar Earl, Who to another Hunter looked Exactly like a squirrel.

Epitaphs

Once I wasn't – then I was. Now I ain't again.

Epitaphs

Here lies the bones of David Jones, Laid both dead and dumb. He read a law and plead a cause But died from drinking rum.

Epitaphs

See how God works his wonders now and then, here lies a lawyer, and an honest man.

Epitaphs

Cold is my bed, but oh, I love it, – for colder are my friends above it.

Epitaphs

A bird, a man, a loaded gun. No bird, dead man, thy will be done.

Epitaphs

… But the reason why I am here interred according to my thinking, – Is owing to my good living and hard drinking, – If therefore, good Christians, you wish to live long – Don't drink to much wine, brandy, gin, or any thing strong.

Epitaphs

My candle burns at both ends, – It will not last the night, – But Oh, my foes, – And Ah, my friends, – It gives a lovely light

Epitaphs

He looked for gold and died of lead poison

Epitaphs

Here lies my wife in earthy mould, who when she lived did naught but scold. Peace! wake her not, for now she’s still; she had, but now I have my will.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Martha Dias, Who was always uneasy and not over pious, She liv'd to the age of threescore and ten, And gave that to the worms she refus'd to the men.

Epitaphs

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Death Epitaphs

He lived one hundred and five. Sanguine and strong. A hundred to five, you live not so long.

Epitaphs

Beneath this smooth stone by the bone of his bone, Sleeps Master John Gill; By lies when alive this attorney did thrive, And now that he's dead he lies still.

Epitaphs

Smart Humorous, Irreverent Tormented – Justin Arthur Frank, M.D. March 22, 1908 – January 20, 1986

Epitaphs

Our papa dear has gone to Heaven, to make arrangements for eleven.

Epitaphs