Subject: Epitaphs (Page 27)

He had six bullets but he needed seven.

Epitaphs

Reader pass on and ne'er waste your time, On bad biography and bitter rhyme. For what I am this cumb'rous clay insures, And what I was, is no affair of yours.

Epitaphs

A Finished Artist

Epitaphs

Here lies Johnny Cole. Who died upon my soul after eating a plentiful dinner. While chewing his crust he was turned into dust with his crimes undigested – poor sinner.

Epitaphs

See how God works his wonders now and then, here lies a lawyer, and an honest man.

Epitaphs

Was suddenly killed at early dawn, July 4th, 1842, by the explosion of a small canon, aged 15 years

Epitaphs

My trip is ended: send my samples home

Epitaphs

Here lies interr'd a man o' micht, they ca'd him Malcolm Downie; he lost his life ae market night, by fa'ing aff his pownie. [pony] Aged 37 Years.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Jane Gordon. With mouth almighty and teeth accordin!

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Hannah Thurber. Once she talked none could curb her. Three husbands had she; all are dead. They died of earache, so ‘tis said!

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Samuel Crane – He ran a race with a passenger train. He got to the crossing and almost across. Sam and his car was a total loss. Sams spirit now tolls his knell. That Sam is on his way to well – If he only took time to stop look and listen, He'd be living now instead of missing

Epitaphs

Throughout his life he kneaded bread and deemed it quite a bore. But now six feet beneath earth's crust he needeth bread no more.

Epitaphs

Here lies one who never sacrificed his reason to superstitious God, nor ever believed that Jonah swallowed the whale.

Epitaphs

Here lies a lewd Fellow, who, while he drew Breath, In the Midst of his Life was in Quest of his Death; Which he quickly obtain'd for it cost him his Life, For being in Bed with another Man's Wife.

Epitaphs

Here lies a man beneath this sod, – Who slandered all except his God, – And him he would have slandered too, – But that his God he never knew.

Epitaphs

He didn't believe in God; And when he did, they argued.

Epitaphs

A Funny Thing Happened

Epitaphs

Neal Keven – His accounts were found square to a cent.

Epitaphs

I thought my doctor said I was heading for a rave.

Doctors Epitaphs

Here lies Frank a shining light, whose name, life, actions all were white.

Epitaphs

Here lies the landlord Tommy Dent In his last cosy tenement.

Epitaphs