Subject: Epitaphs (Page 30)

He found a rope and picked it up, and with it walked away. It happened that to tother end, a horse was hitched, they say. They took the rope and tied it up, unto a hickory limb. It happened that the tother end, was somehow hitched to him.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Samuel Crane – He ran a race with a passenger train. He got to the crossing and almost across. Sam and his car was a total loss. Sams spirit now tolls his knell. That Sam is on his way to well – If he only took time to stop look and listen, He'd be living now instead of missing

Epitaphs

This is to the memory of Ellen Hill, a woman who would always have her will. She snubbed her husband but she made good bread. Yet on the whole he’s rather glad she’s dead. She whipped her children and she drank her gin, whipped virtue out and whipped the devil in. May all such women go to some great fold, where they through all eternity may scold.

Epitaphs

She always said her feet were killing her – but nobody believed her.

Epitaphs

Stephen and Time are now both even. Stephen beat Time and now Time's beat Stephen.

Epitaphs

I put my wife beneath this stone, for her repose and for my own.

Epitaphs

He was literally a father to all the children of the parish.

Epitaphs

Never born, Never died: visited the planet earth between December 11, 1931 and, January 19, 1990.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Richard Thomas, an Englishman by birth, a Whig of '76 – a Cooper by trade, now food for worms. Like an old rum puncheon whose staves are all marked and numbered he will be raised and put together again by his Maker.

Epitaphs

Of him within, nought e'er gratis was had, that you read this so cheap now makes him sad.

Epitaphs