Subject: Epitaphs (Page 4)

Here lies a man who while he lived was happy as a linnet. He always lied while on the earth and now he's lying in it.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Jonathan Tilton, whose friends reduced him to a skeleton. They robbed him out of all he had And now rejoice that he is dead.

Epitaphs

Here lies Slip Mcvey. He would be here today, but bad whiskey and a fast gun put him away

Epitaphs

Been Here: Now Gone: Had a Good Time.

Epitaphs

He is not here – But only his pod; He shelled out his peas – And went to his God.

Epitaphs

At last I get top billing.

Epitaphs

Here I lie, taken from life.

Epitaphs

Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies

Epitaphs

Sacred to the remains of Jonathan Thompson. A pious Christian and affectionate husband. His disconsolate widow continues to carry on his grocery business At the old stand on Main Street: Cheapest and best prices in town.

Epitaphs

A zealous locksmith died of late, and did not enter Heaven’s gate. But stood without and would not knock , because he meant to pick the lock.

Epitaphs

Once I wasn't – then I was. Now I ain't again.

Epitaphs

A rum cough carried him off.

Epitaphs

This stone was raised by Frieda's Lord, not Frieda's virtues to record, for they are known to all the town. This stone was raised to keep her down.

Epitaphs

Mary Weary, Housewife. Dere friends I am going where washing ain't done or cooking or sewing: don't mourn for me now or weep for me never: for I go to do nothing, forever and ever!

Epitaphs

How sleep the brave who sink to rest, by all their country's wishes blest, they sleep not in their regimentals. Such things being here not deemed essentials.

Epitaphs

Here lie the remains of John Hall, grocer. The world is not worth a fig, and I have good raisins for saying so.

Epitaphs

Here lies William Green, who died in Manchester, Sept. 18, 18__. Had he lived, he would have been buried here.

Epitaphs

Hooray my brave boys let's rejoice at his fall. For if he had lived he would have buried us all.

Epitaphs

Where did everybody go?

Epitaphs

Here lieth Richard Dent in his last tenement.

Epitaphs

Here lies two brothers by misfortune surrounded; one died of wounds, but the other was drownded.

Epitaphs