Subject: Epitaphs (Page 4)

To the memory of David Wall – Whose superior performance on the bassoon endeared him to an extensive musical acquaintance. His social life closed on the 4th Dec. 1796. in his 57th year.

Epitaphs

Here lies my wife in earthy mould, who when she lived did naught but scold. Peace! wake her not, for now she’s still; she had, but now I have my will.

Epitaphs

Soon ripe, Soon rotten, Soon gone, Not forgotten

Epitaphs

Louise. – The Unfortunate.

Epitaphs

Ellen Shannon age 26 years, Who was fatally burned March 21, 1870 by the explosion of a lamp filled with "R. E. Danforth's Non-Explosive-Burning Fluid."

Epitaphs

… He's done a-catching cod, and gone to meet his God.

Epitaphs

I was Carolina Born – and Carolina bred – and here I lay – Carolina dead!

Epitaphs

Sweet Leota Beloved by All In Regions Beyond Now But Having a Ball

Epitaphs

This is the last long resting place, Of Aunt Jemima Jones, Her soul ascended into space, Amidst our tears and groans, She was not pleasing to the eye, Nor had she any brain, And when she talked twas through her nose, Which gave her friends much pain, But still we feel that she was worth, The money that was spent, upon the coffin, hearse and stone (The funeral plumes were lent).

Epitaphs

There once was a man named Don, who fell asleep out on his lawn. They thought he was pretending to be dead, then a tombstone fell on his head. And now Don is long gone.

Epitaphs

Samuel Gardner was blind in one eye and in a moment of confusion he stepped out of a receiving and discharging door in one of the warehouses into the ineffable glories of the celestial sphere.

Epitaphs

Leslie Nielsen (1926 – 2010) “Let ‘er rip”

Epitaphs

Gone Underground For Good

Epitaphs

This is to the memory of Ellen Hill, a woman who would always have her will. She snubbed her husband but she made good bread. Yet on the whole he’s rather glad she’s dead. She whipped her children and she drank her gin, whipped virtue out and whipped the devil in. May all such women go to some great fold, where they through all eternity may scold.

Epitaphs

Beneath this silent tomb is laid, a noisy antiquated maid, who from her cradle talked till death, and ne'er before was out of breath.

Epitaphs

This is on me.

Epitaphs

Snug

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Jonathan Blake. Stepped on the gas instead of the brake.

Epitaphs

Rab McBeth – who died for the want of another breath.

Epitaphs

Good friends for Jesus' sake forbear – To stir the dust enclosed here. – Blest be the man who spares these stones – And cursed be he who moves my bones.

Epitaphs

I made an ash of myself

Epitaphs