Subject: Epitaphs (Page 6)

Reader, I've left this world, in which I had a world to do; sweating and fretting to get rich: just such a fool as you.

Hell no! I came here to die not to make a speech!

Here lieth the body of my lovely dear wife Anne, who plays the poker machines whenever she can.

Poorly lived and poorly died. Poorly buried and no one cried.

No doctor ever physicked me, was never near my side. But when fever came I thought of the name, and that was enough – I died.

Here lies the body of Hannah Thurber. Once she talked none could curb her. Three husbands had she; all are dead. They died of earache, so ‘tis said!

Sudden and unexpected was the end – Of our esteemed and beloved friend, – He gave to all his friends a sudden shock – By one day falling into Sunderland dock.

I lodged have in many a town and travelled many a year. Till age and death have brought me down, to my last lodging here.

This spot is the sweetest I've seen in my life, For it raises many flowers and covers my wife.

He has gone to the only place where his own works are excelled.

As a stranger she did die, in strange lands she doth lie. Here by strangers she was laid, and her funeral charges paid.

Beneath this stone lies Lamb asleep, who died a Lamb who lived a sheep. Many a lamb and sheep he slaughtered but cruel Death the scene has altered.

Getting there is half the fun!

Here lies Arnel. ‘You should see the other guy.’

Here lies Kelly, we buried him today. He lived the life of Riley, when Riley was away!

Here lies the darling of his time – Mitchel expired in his prime. – Who four years short of forty seven – Was found full ripe and plucked for Heaven.

Here lies my wife in earthy mould, who when she lived did naught but scold. Peace! wake her not, for now she’s still; she had, but now I have my will.

#$%& @!&% #?!$% @?*&!@^#!* @*$! &!%?

I Was Supposed To Live To Be 102 and Be Shot By A Jealous Husband

Leslie Nielsen (1926 – 2010) “Let ‘er rip”

I started out in life with the idea, that the world had an opening for me. And it did.