Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Epitaphs
(Page 6)
Here lies the body of William Beck – He was thrown at a hunt and broke his neck.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Written by Robert Burns
Here lies Dave Jordan – His last words were a shame… 'There's a light at the end of the tunnel'… Unfortunately it was a train
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Rodney Dangerfield – There Goes The Neighborhood
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Los Angeles
Here lies the body of Sarah Sexton – She was a wife that never vexed one. – But I can't say as much for the one at the next stone.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Falkirk England
This spot is the sweetest I've seen in my life, For it raises many flowers and covers my wife.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
In Wales
He didn't believe in God; And when he did, they argued.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Here lies Barnard Lightfoot Who was accidentally killed in the 45th year of his age. This monument was erected by his grateful family.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Here lies the bones of David Jones, Laid both dead and dumb. He read a law and plead a cause But died from drinking rum.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
This is all that remains of poor Ben Hough. He had forty-nine years and that was enough. Of worldly goods he had his share, And now he's gone to the Devil's snare.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Here he lies, James T. Carson. He blew up his wife and was hung for arson.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
This corpse is Phebe Thorps.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Orange County
This world is a prison in every respect, whose walls are the heavens in common; the jailor is sin, and the prisoners men; and the fetters are nothing but women.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Fair maiden Lilliard – lies under this stane – little was her stature – but muckle was her fame – upon the English loons – she laid monie thumps – and when her legs were cuttit off – she fought upon her stumps.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
A young Scotch woman who fought bravely at the Battle of Ancrum Moor in 1545
I knew if I waited around long enough something like this would happen.
George Bernard Shaw
(1856 – 1950) Irish playwright & socialist
Death
Epitaphs
Suggested epitaph
The body that lies buried here – By lightning fell, death's sacrifice, – To him Elijah's fate was given – He rode on flames of fire to heaven.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
In Stowe Vermont
He is not here – But only his pod; He shelled out his peas – And went to his God.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Ezekiel Pease in Nantucket Massachusetts
Posterity will ne'er survey – A nobler grave than this: – Here lies the bones of Castlereagh: – Stop, traveller, and piss.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Agreeable to the memory of Mrs Alinda Tewksbury. She was not a beleiver [sic] in the Christian idolitry.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
In Cheslea Masssachusetts
The Lord saw good; I was lopping off wood, and down fell from the tree; I met with a check, and I broke my neck, and so Death lopped off me.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
A wood-cutter in Ockham Surrey
Although this stone may moulder into dust, yet Joseph Moodey's name continue must
Epitaph
Epitaphs
York Maine
Here lies the body of Detlof Swenson, waiter. God finally caught his eye.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
A waiter
April 10 1902
Page 6 of 30
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