Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Epitaphs
(Page 6)
This stone was raised to Sarah Ford, not Sarah's virtues to record, for they're well known to all the town. No Lord; it was raised to keep her down.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
In Kilmurry Churchyard Ireland
I am not grieved, my dearest life. Sleep on, I've got another wife. Therefore, I cannot come to thee For I must go and live with she.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
None of us ever voted for Roosevelt or Truman
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Hallenbeck family Elgin Minnesota
Here lies – Johnny Yeast – Pardon me – For not rising.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
In Ruidoso New Mexico
Ingenious youth, thou art laid in dust. Thy friends, for thee, in tears did burst.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
New Bern North Carolina
She did what she could. Not Goodbye, but au revoir. In loving memory of My Dear Wife Annie Edith Faithfull (1877–1954)
Epitaph
Epitaphs
In New England
Here lies two brothers by misfortune surrounded; one died of his wounds but the other was drownded.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Doncaster England
Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Bananas
Enosburg Falls Vermont
Here lies the body of Dr Hayward, a man who never voted. Of such is the kingdom of Heaven.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
In Wayland
Massachusetts
Richard Kell Munson (1924-2004) Lovingly Known As Doctor Dick
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Here lies entombed one Roger Morton, whose sudden death was early brought on; trying one day his corn to mow off, the razor slipped and cut his toe off. The toe, or rather what it grew to, an inflammation quickly flew to; the parts they took to mortifying, And poor dear Roger took to dying.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Cornwall England
I started out in life with the idea, that the world had an opening for me. And it did.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
I told you so. You damned fools.
H.G. Wells
(1866 – 1946) English author
Epitaphs
His suggested epitaph for himself
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Winston Churchill (1874-1965) Bladon Churchyard Oxfordshire England
Poems and Epitaphs are but stuff – Here lies Zed Blacksword – that’s enough
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Ebenezer Dockwood aged forty seven. A miser and a hypocrite and never went to Heaven.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
… Here lie the bones of Sophie Jones; for her death held no terrors. She was born a maid and died a maid. No hits, no runs, no heirs.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
A spinster in Scranton Pennsylvania
He was literally a father to all the children of the parish.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Unknown Vicar (18th Century)
Susan Tomkins here she lies, nobody laughs and nobody crys, where shes gone or how she fares nobody knows and nobody cares
Epitaph
Epitaphs
This debt I owe is justly due, and I am come to sleep with you.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Elizabeth wife of Nathan Davis died in 1786 in Connecticut
Here lies Clyde – Whose life was full – Until he tried – To milk a bull.
Epitaph
Epitaphs
Page 6 of 30
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