Subject: Epitaphs (Page 6)

This stone was raised to Sarah Ford, not Sarah's virtues to record, for they're well known to all the town. No Lord; it was raised to keep her down.

I am not grieved, my dearest life. Sleep on, I've got another wife. Therefore, I cannot come to thee For I must go and live with she.

None of us ever voted for Roosevelt or Truman

Here lies – Johnny Yeast – Pardon me – For not rising.

Ingenious youth, thou art laid in dust. Thy friends, for thee, in tears did burst.

She did what she could. Not Goodbye, but au revoir. In loving memory of My Dear Wife Annie Edith Faithfull (1877–1954)

Here lies two brothers by misfortune surrounded; one died of his wounds but the other was drownded.

Here lies the body of our Anna, Done to death by a banana. It wasn't the fruit that laid her low, But the skin of the thing that made her go.

 Here lies the body of Dr Hayward, a man who never voted. Of such is the kingdom of Heaven.

Richard Kell Munson (1924-2004) Lovingly Known As Doctor Dick

Here lies entombed one Roger Morton, whose sudden death was early brought on; trying one day his corn to mow off, the razor slipped and cut his toe off. The toe, or rather what it grew to, an inflammation quickly flew to; the parts they took to mortifying, And poor dear Roger took to dying.

I started out in life with the idea, that the world had an opening for me. And it did.

I told you so. You damned fools.

(1866 – 1946) English author

I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

Poems and Epitaphs are but stuff – Here lies Zed Blacksword – that’s enough

Ebenezer Dockwood aged forty seven. A miser and a hypocrite and never went to Heaven.

… Here lie the bones of Sophie Jones; for her death held no terrors. She was born a maid and died a maid. No hits, no runs, no heirs.

He was literally a father to all the children of the parish.

Susan Tomkins here she lies, nobody laughs and nobody crys, where shes gone or how she fares nobody knows and nobody cares

This debt I owe is justly due, and I am come to sleep with you.

Here lies Clyde – Whose life was full – Until he tried – To milk a bull.