Subject: Epitaphs (Page 7)

Mary, Mary, quite contrary How does your garden grow? Quite well, I bet, Since it's well fed By her body decomposing below.

Planted here beneath sod. At peaceful rest lies brother Claude

Sacred to the memory of Henry Harris who died from a kick by a colt in his bowells. Peacable and quiet, a friend to his father and mother, respected by all who knew him, gone to the world where horses don’t kick, where sorrow and weeping are no more.

Ma Dyed [sic]

Approach and read, now with your hats on, for here lies Bailie William Watson; who was famous for his thinking, and moderation in his drinking.

Here lies poor but honest Bryan Tunstall. He was a most expert angler until Death envious of his art, threw out his line hooked him, and landed him here the 21st day of April, 1790

Here beneath this stone we lie, back to back my wife and I, And when the angels trump shall trill, If she gets up then I'll lie still!

Here lies the body of Robert Gordon, mouth almighty and teeth according. Stranger tread lightly on this wonder, if he opens his mouth you are gone to thunder.

The body of Benjamin Franklin, printer like the coyer of an old book its contents torn out and stripped of its lettering and gilding, lies here food for worms. – Yet the work itself shall not be lost for it will, as he believed, appear once more in a new and more beautiful edition corrected and amended by the author.

That is all

My sledge and anvil lie declined, my bellows too have lost their wind; my fire’s extinct, my forge decay’d. And in the dust my body’s laid: my coal is out, my iron’s gone, my nails are drove, my work is done.

Here lies the body of Richard Hind, – Who was neither ingenious, sober, nor kind.

Here lies Groucho Marx and Lies and Lies and Lies

For a good time, dig.

Here lies the body of John Smith. Buried in the cloisters. If he don't jump at the last trump, call, Oysters!

I am anxiously expecting you. A.D. 1827 — Here I am! – A.D. 1867

Here lies one who for medicine would not give, a little gold, and so his life he lost: I fancy now he'd wish again to live, could he but guess how much his funeral cost.

Farewell my young companions all. From death's arrest no age is free. Remember this, a warning call. Prepare to follow after me.

Was suddenly killed at early dawn, July 4th, 1842, by the explosion of a small canon, aged 15 years

Fair maiden Lilliard – lies under this stane – little was her stature – but muckle was her fame – upon the English loons – she laid monie thumps – and when her legs were cuttit off – she fought upon her stumps.

Here lies one who never lied before. And one who never will lie More. To which there need be no More said.