Subject: Epitaphs (Page 9)

Soon ripe, Soon rotten, Soon gone, Not forgotten

Epitaphs

Here lies Thomas Smith and what is somewhat rareish, he was born bred and hanged in this e’er parish.

Epitaphs

Ruth and Johnny, Side by side, Went out for an auto ride, They hit a bump. Ruth hit a tree, And John kept going – Ruthlessly.

Epitaphs

I bowl'd, I struck, I caught, I stopp'd. Sure life's a game of cricket; I block'd with care, with caution popp'd, yet Death has hit my wicket.

Epitaphs

Here lies an honest lawyer – and that is Strange.

Epitaphs

He was a man of invention great – Above all who he lived nigh; – But he could not invent to live – When God called him to die.

Epitaphs

He lived and died by suicide

Epitaphs

I was Carolina Born – and Carolina bred – and here I lay – Carolina dead!

Epitaphs

John Le Mesurier wishes it to be know that he conked out on November 15th. He sadly misses family and friends.

(1912 – 1983) English actor
Epitaphs

Here lies the bones of Eichard Lawton – Whose death alas I was strangely brought on. – Trying his corns one day to mow off. – His razor slipped and cut his toe off. – His toe or rather what it grew to, – An inflimation quickly flew to. – Which took alas to mortifying – And was the cause of Eichards dying.

Epitaphs

Looked up the elevator shaft to see if the car was on the way down – it was.

Epitaphs

If Heaven be pleased when sinners cease to sin, if Hell be pleased when sinners enter in, if Earth be pleased when ridded of a knave, then all are pleased for Coleman’s in his grave.

Epitaphs

Here I lie bereft of breath, because a cough carried me off; then a coffin they carried me off in.

Epitaphs

… But the reason why I am here interred according to my thinking, – Is owing to my good living and hard drinking, – If therefore, good Christians, you wish to live long – Don't drink to much wine, brandy, gin, or any thing strong.

Epitaphs

Excuse Me

Epitaphs

Transplanted

Epitaphs

My candle burns at both ends, – It will not last the night, – But Oh, my foes, – And Ah, my friends, – It gives a lovely light

Epitaphs

He got a fish bone in his throat – And then he sang an angel's note.

Epitaphs

Here lies my wife in earthly mould, who, when she liv'd, did naught but scold; peace, wake her not, for now she's still, she had, but now I have my will.

Epitaphs

Go away – I’m asleep.

Epitaphs

Charlie was a chemist, but Charlie is no more. What Charlie thought was H20 was H2SO4.

Epitaphs