Subject: Epitaphs (Page 9)

This we must own in justice to her shade, `Tis the first bad exit Oldfield ever made.

Epitaphs

Rest In Peace Cousin Huet – We all know you didn't do it

Epitaphs

My trip is ended: send my samples home

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Samuel Crane – He ran a race with a passenger train. He got to the crossing and almost across. Sam and his car was a total loss. Sams spirit now tolls his knell. That Sam is on his way to well – If he only took time to stop look and listen, He'd be living now instead of missing

Epitaphs

I’d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.

(234 – 149 BC) Roman statesman
Death Epitaphs

Who lies here ? — Who do you think? 'Tis poor Will Gibson — give him a drink. Give him a drink, I'll tell you for why, when he was living, he always was dry.

Epitaphs

Mary, Mary, quite contrary How does your garden grow? Quite well, I bet, Since it's well fed By her body decomposing below.

Epitaphs

Here lies Sir John Guise: No one laughs, no one cries: Where he's gone, and how he fares, No one knows, and no one cares.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Hannah Thurber. Once she talked none could curb her. Three husbands had she; all are dead. They died of earache, so ‘tis said!

Epitaphs

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that has been discontinued.

(1876 – 1944) American author, humorist & columnist
Death Epitaphs

Here I lie, my name is Ball, I lived, I died, despised by all; and now I cannot chew my crust, I'm gone back to my ancient dust.

Epitaphs

Here lies Clyde – Whose life was full – Until he tried – To milk a bull.

Epitaphs

18 years a maiden, 1 year a wife, 1 day a mother, then I lost my life.

Epitaphs

Here lies Ann Mann, who lived an old maid, but died an old Mann…

Epitaphs

The Yankees came South in droves and bands, To conquer our fair Southern lands. But this little plot, In this quiet spot, was all the land this damn Yankee got.

Epitaphs

A Finished Artist

Epitaphs

"May ye be in heaven an hour before the devil knows you're dead"

Epitaphs

Here lies Lester Moore. Four slugs from a .44. No Les, no more.

Epitaphs

This Ain’t Bad _____ Once You Get Used To It

Epitaphs

This is to the memory of Ellen Hill, a woman who would always have her will. She snubbed her husband but she made good bread. Yet on the whole he’s rather glad she’s dead. She whipped her children and she drank her gin, whipped virtue out and whipped the devil in. May all such women go to some great fold, where they through all eternity may scold.

Epitaphs

There once was a man named Don, who fell asleep out on his lawn. They thought he was pretending to be dead, then a tombstone fell on his head. And now Don is long gone.

Epitaphs