Subject: Epitaphs (Page 9)

At rest beneath this slab of stone, lies stingy Jimmy Wyatt. He died one morning just at ten, and saved a dinner by it.

Epitaphs

Hi! – Stay high – Bye

Epitaphs

Dear God, Thanks

Epitaphs

This debt I owe is justly due, and I am come to sleep with you.

Epitaphs

Here lies Barnard Lightfoot Who was accidentally killed in the 45th year of his age. This monument was erected by his grateful family.

Epitaphs

Here lies Granny Beth Sue Choked to death On Redman Chew

Epitaphs

I Dionysius underneath this tomb – Some sixty years of age have reached my doom. – Ne'er having married, think it sad, – And I wish my father never had.

Epitaphs

Here lies the body of Detlof Swenson, waiter. God finally caught his eye.

Epitaphs

G. Winch, the brewer, lies buried here. In life he was both hale and stout. Death brought him to his bitter bier. Now in heaven he hops about.

Epitaphs

Here lies Elizabeth, my wife for 47 years, and this is the first damn thing she ever done to oblige me.

Epitaphs

Here lieth the body of my lovely dear wife Anne, who plays the poker machines whenever she can.

Epitaphs

While on earth my knee was lame, I had to nurse and heed it. But now I’m at a better place, where I don’t even need it.

Epitaphs

Little Johnny had a purple monkey, climbing up a yellow stick, little Johnny licked the purple paint of and it made him deathly sick. They stirred him up with calomel, they tried to move his liver, but all in vain, his little soul was wafted o'er the River.

Epitaphs

“Here lies my wife in earthy mold, Who when she died and naught but scold. Good friends go softly in your walking lest she should wake and rise up talking”

Epitaphs

Bye

Epitaphs

Here lies an Atheist. All dressed up and no place to go.

Epitaphs

His faults are buried with him beneath this stone. His virtues (if he had any) are remembered by his friends.

Epitaphs

Assuming my death has occurred, and five doctors have concurred. Please REVIVE me! If you can get no breath, take the person who caused my death, and bury them right beside me.

Epitaphs

"Lord, thy grace is free, — why not for me?"

And the Lord answered and said, — "Because thy debts aint paid I”

Epitaphs

Listen, Mother, Aunt and me, were killed, here we be. We should not had time to missle had they blown the engine whistle.

Epitaphs

Shall all we die? We shall die all. All die shall we? Die all we shall.

Epitaphs