Subject: Exaggerations (Page 2)

He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

He is so fat… he's on both sides of the family.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child; she must be found and stopped.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Children Exaggerations People Women

I saw a mosquito in Alaska so big… I could see his brand.

Animals Exaggerations Places

He is so poor… he can't even pay attention.

Exaggerations Money Poverty

She is so ugly… when she walks into a haunted house, she came out with a paycheck.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

She is so old… she's in God's year book.

Age Exaggerations Old

It is so hot… today I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

He is so fat… his blood type is Ragu.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

She is so fat… when she was a kid she could only play seek.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

He is so fat… people jump over him rather than go around.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

Hagi could open a tin of beans with his left foot.

English football player
Colemanballs Exaggerations

He is so stupid… it takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

She is so ugly… when she goes swimming the tide goes out.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

He is so fat… when he gets his shoes shined he has to take the man's word for it.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

If I asked for a cup of coffee, someone would search for the double meaning.

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Communication Exaggerations Language

He is so fat… his driver's license says, “picture continued on other side.”

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

It is so hot… I saw two trees fighting over a dog.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

She is so stupid… she took a blood test and failed.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

His car is so expensive the radiator requires Perrier.

Autos Exaggerations Things