Subject: Exaggerations (Page 3)

He is so dumb, blondes tell jokes about him.

It was so cold… we had lunch at the "Greasy Spoon" – just for the heartburn.

She is so old… her dreams are in black and white.

It is so hot… today I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.

It is so hot… I saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.

He is so fat… I had to take a train and two buses just to get on his good side.

He is so ugly… he has to sneak up on his mirror.

He is so fat… when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

She is so fat… at the zoo, the elephants throw peanuts at her.

She is so short… you can see her feet on her driver's license picture.

She is so fat… she was born with a silver shovel in her mouth.

He is so fat… he can't even jump to a conclusion.

He is so ugly… the psychiatrist makes him lie face down.

She is so ugly… when she walked in to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the border.

He is so stupid… mind readers charge him half price.

She is so old… she used to baby-sit Jesus.

It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.

She is so fat… she can't even jump to conclusions.

He is so ugly… robbers give him their masks to wear.

He is so fat… in the summer he can sell shade.

She is so old… she's in God's year book.