Subject: Exaggerations (Page 3)

It was so cold… we didn't clean the house – we just defrosted it.

He is so stupid… he got fired from an M&M factory for throwing out all the W's.

He is so fat… when he ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

He is so fat… his driver's license says, “picture continued on other side.”

The report of my death was an exaggeration.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist

He is so fat… his high school graduation picture was an aerial photograph.

She is so fat… the police told her to break it up.

It is so hot… the cows arre giving evaporated milk.

So windy he could blow up an onion sack.

She is so ugly… when she was born, the doctor slapped the wrong end.

It was so cold… my shadow froze to the sidewalk.

It is so hot… I saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.

He is so stupid… mind readers charge him half price.

I saw a mosquito in Alaska so big… I could see his brand.

She is so fat… when she was a kid she could only play seek.

She is so ugly… when she goes swimming the tide goes out.

She is so stupid… she stared at an orange juice carton for twenty minutes because the label said "concentrate."

He is so fat… his shadow weighs 12 pounds.

She is so ugly… when she walked in to Taco Bell, everyone ran for the border.

It is so dry… I caught a catfish that had ticks on him.

She’s so stupid… if you give her a penny for her thoughts, you'll get change back.