Subject: Exaggerations (Page 5)

She is so fat… the police told her to break it up.

Appearance Exaggerations Fat

Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child; she must be found and stopped.

(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Children Exaggerations People Women

It is so hot… today I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

It was so cold… polar bears were buying fur coats.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

His car is so expensive that instead of a stereo, Pavaratti takes requests from the back seat.

Autos Exaggerations Things

So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.

Exaggerations Science/Weather

He is so dumb… his dog teaches him tricks.

Exaggerations Intelligence Stupidity

His nose is so big… he could smoke a cigar in the shower.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

It is so hot… the trees are whistling for the dogs.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

It was so cold… we didn't clean the house – we just defrosted it.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather

She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

She is so ugly… she has to trick or treat over the phone.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

It is so hot… I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.

Exaggerations Heat Science/Weather

He is so ugly… when he walks into the bank they turn off the cameras.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

She’s so ugly she makes onions cry.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

She is so old… she was the waitress at the last supper.

Age Exaggerations Old

He is so ugly… he has to sneak up on his mirror.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

He is so fat… when his beeper goes off, people think he's backing up.

Appearance Body Exaggerations Fat

She is so short… you can see her feet on her driver's license picture.

Appearance Body Exaggerations

He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.

Appearance Exaggerations Ugly

It was so cold… pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm.

Cold Exaggerations Science/Weather