Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Friday, April 4, 2025
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Subject:
Exaggerations
(Page 5)
She is so old… she's in God's year book.
Anonymous
Age
Exaggerations
Old
She's so fat… when she goes to a restaurant, she doesn't get a menu, she gets an estimate.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Fat
His nose is so big… he could smoke a cigar in the shower.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Nose
He is so old… I told him to act his own age, and he died.
Anonymous
Age
Exaggerations
Old
She is so short… you can see her feet on her driver's license picture.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Short
She is so ugly… when she gets up, the sun goes down.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Ugly
So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Science/Weather
Dry
Rain
It is so hot… I saw a chicken lay a fried egg.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
He is so stupid… mind readers charge him half price.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Intelligence
Stupidity
He is so fat… when he gets his shoes shined he has to take the man's word for it.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Fat
She is so stupid… she stared at an orange juice carton for twenty minutes because the label said "concentrate."
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Intelligence
Stupidity
It was so cold… I chipped a tooth on my soup.
Anonymous
Cold
Exaggerations
Science/Weather
He is so fat… he had his own area code.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Fat
She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Fat
It was so cold… polar bears were buying fur coats.
Anonymous
Cold
Exaggerations
Science/Weather
She is so stupid… she can’t make ice without a recipe.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Intelligence
Stupidity
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child; she must be found and stopped.
Sam Levenson
(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Children
Exaggerations
People
Women
Birth
It was so cold… the politicians had their hands in their
own
pockets.
Anonymous
Cold
Exaggerations
Science/Weather
It is so hot… the cows arre giving evaporated milk.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
It is so hot… chickens are laying hard-boiled eggs.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
It is so hot… I saw a squirrel fanning his nuts.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
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