Quotes and One Liners
humorous one-liners, quotations, jokes, Murphy's Laws & more
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Subject:
Exaggerations
(Page 5)
She is so fat… the police told her to break it up.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Fat
Somewhere on this globe, every ten seconds, there is a woman giving birth to a child; she must be found and stopped.
Sam Levenson
(1911 – 1980) humorist, writer, television host & journalist
Children
Exaggerations
People
Women
Birth
It is so hot… today I saw a funeral procession pull into a Dairy Queen.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
It was so cold… polar bears were buying fur coats.
Anonymous
Cold
Exaggerations
Science/Weather
His car is so expensive that instead of a stereo, Pavaratti takes requests from the back seat.
Anonymous
Autos
Exaggerations
Things
So dry the catfish are carrying canteens.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Science/Weather
Dry
Rain
He is so dumb… his dog teaches
him
tricks.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Intelligence
Stupidity
His nose is so big… he could smoke a cigar in the shower.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Nose
It is so hot… the trees are whistling for the dogs.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
It was so cold… we didn't clean the house – we just defrosted it.
Anonymous
Cold
Exaggerations
Science/Weather
She is so fat… her favorite meal is seconds.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Fat
She is so ugly… she has to trick or treat over the phone.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Ugly
It is so hot… I saw a dog chasing a cat and they were both walking.
Anonymous
Exaggerations
Heat
Science/Weather
He is so ugly… when he walks into the bank they turn off the cameras.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Ugly
She’s so ugly she makes onions cry.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Ugly
She is so old… she was the waitress at the last supper.
Anonymous
Age
Exaggerations
Old
He is so ugly… he has to sneak up on his mirror.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Ugly
He is so fat… when his beeper goes off, people think he's backing up.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Fat
She is so short… you can see her feet on her driver's license picture.
Anonymous
Appearance
Body
Exaggerations
Short
He is so ugly… when he throws a boomerang it won’t come back.
Anonymous
Appearance
Exaggerations
Ugly
It was so cold… pickpockets were sticking their hands in strangers' pockets to keep warm.
Anonymous
Cold
Exaggerations
Science/Weather
Page 5 of 6
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