Subject: Expressions (Page 5)

He couldn’t pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were written on the heel.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

He goes to church on Sunday, steals chickens on Monday.

Beliefs Expressions Honesty

Ugly as a moose chewin ice

Appearance Expressions Ugly

Smilin’ like a goat in a briarpatch

Appearance Expressions

Couldn't scratch his ass if he had a tiger in both hands.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity

I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the rider.

Expressions Food/Drink

It's so flat you can look down the road and see the back of your head!

Expressions Places

… since God's dog was a pup

Expressions Past Time

She’s so fat it takes two dogs to bark at her.

Appearance Body Expressions Fat

He’s so mean, he’d bite himself.

Characteristics Expressions

He lies so bad he hires somebody to call his dogs.

Characteristics Expressions Honesty Lies

Jesus loves him, but he is the only one.

Expressions

He’s so lazy, he’d marry a pregnant woman.

Characteristics Expressions

He was lookin' at me like a country mule lookin at a freight train.

Expressions

Busier than a puppy in room full of rubber balls.

Expressions

Harder’n baptizing a cat.

Expressions

You are so lazy if you had a third hand, you’d need a third pocket to put it in.

Characteristics Expressions

Ugly as stump full of spiders.

Appearance Expressions Ugly

He’s got more dollars than cents.

Expressions Intelligence

Amber days

Expressions

He ain’t got enough sense to poor piss out of a boot.

Expressions Intelligence Stupidity