Subject: Family » Children (Page 15)

An adolescent doesn’t always know where he’s going; only that he isn’t there.

writer
Children Family

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.

Children Family Murphy’s Laws

After you have children, the economic law reverses to Demand and Supply.

writer
Children Family

Kids used to ask you where they came from – now they tell you where to go.

Children Murphy’s Laws

Telling a teenager the facts of life is like giving a fish a bath.

(1905 –1998) American author
Children Family Sex

I don’t know what Scrope Davies meant by telling you I liked children, I abominate the sight of them so much that I have always had the greatest respect for the character of Herod.

(1788 – 1824) English poet
Children Family

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Communication Language

Having a baby is like a DUI from the universe.

(1974 – ) American comedian
Children Family

Even though your kids will consistently do the exact opposite of what you’re telling them to do, you have to keep loving them just as much.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Emotions Family Love

I’m adopted, and I’m glad that my parents were honest enough with me to tell me that I’m adopted, but why every day?

(1972 – ) stand-up comedian & writer
Children Family Parents

A child is a curly, dimpled lunatic.

(1803 – 1882) essayist, poet, & philosopher
Children Family Old

Fatherhood is pretending the present you love most is soap-on-a-rope.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Things

Dressing a baby is like putting an octopus into a string bag, making sure none of the arms hang out.

(1951 – ) British writer
Appearance Children Clothing Family Situations

Father’s Feedback: The inevitable result when the baby doesn't appreciate the strained carrots.

Children Definitions Family Food/Drink

A woman never wakes up her second baby just to see it smile.

Children Family

Families with babies and families without babies are sorry for each other.

(1853 – 1937) journalist, writer & editor
Children Family

I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Characteristics Children People Things

If you’ve never been hated by your child, you’ve never been a parent.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Children Emotions Family Parents

One child is not enough, but two children are far too many.

Children Family Murphy’s Laws

I like children… if they’re properly cooked.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children TV/Movie Quotes

My wife and I decided we don’t want children; if someone wants them, we’ll drop them off tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Family