Subject: Family » Children (Page 17)

Quadruplets: Four crying out loud.

Children Definitions Wordplay

An adolescent doesn’t always know where he’s going; only that he isn’t there.

writer
Children Family

Kids are wonderful… I like mine barbecued.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Children Family

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Children Family Mothers Old

First, Lord: No tattoos. May neither Chinese symbol for truth nor Winnie-the-Pooh holding the FSU logo stain her tender haunches.

(1970 – ) American actress, comedian, writer & producer
Children Family

Wednesday… play with your food!

(1951 – ) American actress & director
Children Family TV/Movie Quotes

Family Planning: The art of spacing your children the proper distance apart to keep you on the edge of financial disaster.

Children Definitions Family

The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.

(1894 – 1972) King of the United Kingdom
America Children Family Parents People Places

We've had bad luck with our kids… they've all grown up.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Age Children People

Kids Are Turds: Brutally Honest Humor for the Pooped-Out Parent

Book Titles Children

Raising kids is like being pecked to death by a chicken.

Children Expressions Family

I was raised as an only child… which really annoyed my sister.

British comedian
Children Family

Margaret Addams: What.
Debbie Jellinsky: Oh, I didn’t say anything.
Margaret Addams: No, that’s the baby’s nickname, What … from the obstetrician.

(1941 – ) American actress
Children TV/Movie Quotes

It is amazing how quickly the kids learn to drive a car, yet are unable to understand the lawnmower, snowblower or vacuum cleaner.

Age Children Family Learning

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Children Family Parents

A child of five would understand this; send someone to fetch a child of five.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Children Family Intelligence Understanding

My kid wants to be a prison warden when he grows up so he can put thumb tacks on the electric chairs.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Children Family

Lawyers, I suppose, were children once.

(1775 – 1834) English critic & essayist
Age Children Government Law Lawyers Young

Having a child makes you a parent; having two, you are a referee.

(1939 – ) British journalist, comedian, writer & media personality
Children Family

Baby: A loud noise at one end and no sense of responsibility at the other.

(1888 – 1957) English priest & theologian
Children Family

You have to remember: the wife has been home all day cleaning asses and feeding faces… sometimes the opposite.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Children Family Marriage Wives