Subject: Family » Children (Page 18)

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Communication Language

In a house where there are small children the bathroom soon takes on the appearance of the Old Curiosity Shop.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Children Family

When your children are teenagers, it’s important to have a dog so that someone in the house is happy to see you.

(1941 – 2012) American novelist, producer, screenwriter & director
Animals Children Dogs Family

I love all my children… I’m delighted to see them come and delighted to see them go.

(1912 – 2002) English novelist
Children Family

Baby: Morning caller, noonday crawler, midnight bawler.

Children Definitions Family

When my daughter was born she had jaundice, she was small, round and yellow; we called her Melony.

(1964 – ) English comedian
Children Family

Enough is never enough.

Children Murphy’s Laws Situations

I’m from Chicago, but I pay child support in Seattle; I’m just kidding – I don’t pay child support.

(1975 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Age Children Family Marriage Places

I used to walk into a party and scan the room for attractive women; now I look for women to hold my baby so I can eat potato salad sitting down.

(1957 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Children Family

Wrinkles are hereditary; parents get them from their children.

(1924 – ) American actress & singer
Appearance Children Family Parents

I was raised as an only child… which really annoyed my sister.

British comedian
Children Family

Children should be heard, not obscene.

Children Murphy’s Laws

My father never raised his hand to any one of his children, except in self-defense.

(1894 – 1956) American radio comedian
Children Family Fathers

I had an advantage – I slept with his mother.

(1923 – 2001) American football coach
Children Family Football Mothers Sports

Children always take the line of most persistence.

writer
Children Family Wordplay

Give to a pig when it grunts and a child when it cries, and you will have a fine pig and a bad child.

Children Family Proverbs

Babies awaken slightly disoriented, with a look that's half Angel and half Lost Tourist.

(1957 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Children Family

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Children Family Parents

A child will not spill on a dirty floor.

Accidents Children

Wednesday… play with your food!

(1951 – ) American actress & director
Children Family TV/Movie Quotes

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Beliefs Children God Religion