Subject: Family » Children (Page 2)

Enough is never enough.

Children Murphy’s Laws Situations

I refuse to admit I'm more than 52, even if that does make my sons illegitimate.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Age Children Old

Children should be heard, not obscene.

Children Murphy’s Laws

Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child – if you parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out tender.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children Food/Drink Time

Having a kid is great… as long as his eyes are closed and he's not moving or talking.

(1966 – ) American actor, comedian, screenwriter & film producer
Children Family

No child throws up in the bathroom.

Children Health Murphy’s Laws

Showoff: A child who is more talented than yours.

Children Definitions Family

Raising kids is like being pecked to death by a chicken.

Children Expressions Family

I don’t know what Scrope Davies meant by telling you I liked children, I abominate the sight of them so much that I have always had the greatest respect for the character of Herod.

(1788 – 1824) English poet
Children Family

It’s a mystery of parenthood that your son can give mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to stray, worm-riddled dogs, share a piece of re-chewed gum from a kid with bronchitis and pick his nose and eat it on a regular basis, yet won’t sit next to his sister because of ‘Girl Germs.’

(1958 – ) Australian author
Children Family

What’s the point of having children if you can’t buy their love?

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Children Emotions Family Love TV/Movie Quotes

I can be President of the United States, or I can control Alice [his daughter], I cannot possibly do both.

(1858 – 1919) 26th U.S. president
Children Family

The quickest way for a parent to get a child’s attention is to sit down and look comfortable.

American free-lance writer
Children

Kids are great. You can teach them to hate what you hate and, with the Internet and all, they practically raise themselves.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Children TV/Movie Quotes

My kid wanted a BB gun for Christmas, I got him the BB gun and he gave me a sweater with a bull’s eye on it.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Children Family

Can I Sit on Your Lap While You’re Pooping?

Book Titles Children

Never underestimate a child’s ability to get into more trouble.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Children Family

You might be a redneck if… you removed the back seat from your car so all yer kids could fit in.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Autos Children People Rednecks Things

Kids are great. That's one of the best things about our business, all the kids you get to meet. It's a shame they have to grow up to be regular people and come to the games and call you names.

(1963 – ) American professional basketball player & sports personality
Basketball Children Sports

The only thing I said to my parents when I was a teenager was “Hang up, I got it!”

comedian, writer, actor & producer
Age Children Communication Family Parents Speech Young

You want to look younger… rent smaller children.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Age Appearance Children Young