Subject: Family » Children (Page 4)

It is not economical to go to bed early to save the candles if the result is twins.

Children Money Proverbs Sex

An adolescent doesn’t always know where he’s going; only that he isn’t there.

writer
Children Family

Every child is an artist; the problem is how to remain an artist once we grow up.

(1881 – 1973) Spanish painter, sculptor, printmaker & stage designer
Art Children Entertainment

About age 30 most women think about having children, most men think about dating them.

American comedian & motivational speaker
Children Dating Family Men People Travel Women

We’ve begun to long for the pitter-patter of little feet – so we bought a dog; well, it’s cheaper, and you get more feet.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Animals Children Dogs Family

I have the heart of a child; I keep it in a jar on my shelf.

(1917 – 1994) American writer
Children Science/Weather

Babies awaken slightly disoriented, with a look that's half Angel and half Lost Tourist.

(1957 – ) American comedian, actor & writer
Children Family

Life: A span of time of which the first half is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

Children Definitions Parents

Infant Prodigies: Young people with highly imaginative parents.

Children Definitions Family

Never underestimate the determination of a kid who is time rich and cash poor.

(1971 – ) Canadian blogger, journalist & science fiction author
Characteristics Children

My wife and I decided we don’t want children; if someone wants them, we’ll drop them off tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Family

We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill – “He wants his mother.”

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Children Family Fathers Mothers

Viagra has instructions: ‘Keep away from children’ — what kind of man do you think I am?

(1972 – ) Anglo-Irish comedian, writer & actor
Children Sex

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.

(1900 – 1944) French aristocrat, writer, poet & pioneering aviator
Children Family Intelligence Parents

Believe me… if you leave twin two-year-olds alone in your living room, at some point a cow will be airborne.

(1957 – ) American stand-up comedian, actor & screenwriter
Children Family

Literature is mostly about having sex and not much about having children; life is the other way round.

(1935 – ) British author
Books Children Communication Family Life Reading/Writing Sex

Having kids is like having a bowling alley installed in your brain.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Children Family

Youth is stranger than fiction.

writer
Children Family Wordplay

Younger and younger, our children are seeing the sippy-cup as half empty.

(1970 – ) American stand-up comedian & voice actor
Age Children Emotions Family

He’s going around putting little covers over the electrical outlets and all that stuff, and I’m like, ‘How the kids going to learn about electricity, huh?’

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Children Family

Out of the mouth of babes… usually when you’ve got your best suit on.

Children Family