Subject: Family » Children (Page 5)

The fundamental defect of fathers is that they want their children to be a credit to them.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Characteristics Children Family Fathers

My wife and I decided we don’t want children; if someone wants them, we’ll drop them off tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Family

There is no more somber enemy of good art than the pram in the hall.

(1903 – 1974) English intellectual, literary critic & writer
Art Children Entertainment Family

There are only two things a child will share willingly – communicable diseases and his mother’s age.

(1903 – 1998) American pediatrician & author
Age Children Family Health Mothers

Every book is a children's book if the kid can read.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Books Children Reading/Writing

Experimenting with Babies

Book Titles Children

When I hear a baby, I always write down the noises he makes, so later I can ask him what he meant.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Children Communication Family

Learning to dislike children at an early age saves a lot of expense and aggravation later in life.

(1972 – ) Irish stand-up comedian, voice over artist & actor
Children Family

What the hell is a ‘time out;” when I was growing up, we had black outs.

(1962 – ) American actor & comedian
Children Family Situations

I’m a sensitive guy; I held a baby the other day and it was the first time either of us cried.

(1949 – 2016) American comedian & television actor
Children Emotions

Adolescence is that period in a kid’s life when parents become more difficult.

(1941 – ) American actor
Age Children Family Parents

I like children… if they’re properly cooked.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Children TV/Movie Quotes

Always end the name of your child with a vowel, so that when you yell the name will carry.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Communication Language

We've had bad luck with our kids… they've all grown up.

(1890 – 1957) author & journalist
Age Children People

I have found the best way to give advice to your children is to find out what they want and then advise them to do it.

(1884 – 1972) 33rd U.S. president
Beliefs Children

Nothing’s as mean as giving a little child something useful for Christmas.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Children Family

A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family

The last thing my kids ever did to earn money was lose their baby teeth.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Children Family Money People

Except that right-side-up is best, there is not much to learn about holding a baby.

(1918 – 2001) American sportswriter, commentator & actor
Children Family People Travel

Because you are feeding both the child and the floor, raising this child will be expensive.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Food/Drink Money

There are three ways to get something done: do it yourself, hire someone, or forbid your kids to do it.

Children Family Murphy’s Laws