Subject: Family » Fathers (Page 4)

By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he’s wrong.

(1814 – 1882) American clergyman
Family Fathers Intelligence

Father: A guy who is working his child’s way through college.

Definitions Family Fathers

A father is a banker provided by nature.

Family Fathers Proverbs

One day my father took me aside… and left me there.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Family Fathers People Self

When I was born my father spent three weeks trying to find a loophole in my birth certificate.

(1924 – 1987) American stand-up ‘deadpan’ comedian and actor
Family Fathers People Self

Are you ever walking down the street and you see some guy you kind of know, and you don’t want to say hi, but you sort of have to because he’s your dad?

stand-up comedian, writer & actor
Family Fathers

The time not to become a father is eighteen years before a war.

(1899 – 1985) US author & humorist
Family Fathers Time War

Me and my dad used to play tag, he’d drive!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Activities Driving Family Fathers

I was born when my dad was 50; it’s weird growing up with a dad that much older than you… we’d go to the movies, we’re both getting discounts.

(1970 –) American stand-up comedian
Age Family Fathers Old Young

I wasn’t particularly close to my dad before he died… which was lucky, because he trod on a land mine.


Family Fathers

I love my dad… he used to be a professional wrestler in Mexico, so, it was cool growing up with him ’cause when he hit us, he didn’t really hit us.

(1976 – ) comedian
Family Fathers Sports

She got her good looks from her father, he’s a plastic surgeon.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Appearance Doctors Family Fathers Health

We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill – “He wants his mother.”

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Children Family Fathers Mothers

We were so poor my daddy unplugged the clocks when we went to bed.

(1965 – ) comedian, actor, screenwriter, television producer & director
Family Fathers Money Poverty Things

The place of the father in the modern suburban family is a very small one, particularly if he plays golf.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Family Fathers Golf Sports

My father wanted me to have all the educational opportunities he never had… so he sent me to a girls school.

(1975 – ) American stand-up comedian & television host
Education Fathers School

Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch.

(1962 – ) American political satirist, writer, television host & comedian
Children Family Fathers

I’d be the only dad keeping his kids home from school to teach me how to get to the next level on a video game.

comedian
Children Family Fathers

Once on my birthday my ol’ man gave me a bat; the first day I played with it, it flew away.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Family Fathers