Subject: Family » Mothers (Page 2)

No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Family Mothers

My mother buried three husbands, and two of them were just napping.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Death Husbands Mothers

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Food/Drink Mothers Relationships

It’s better to be black than gay because when you’re black you don’t have to tell your mother.

comedian, composer & lyricist
Appearance Characteristics Mothers

If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.

(1964 – ) American country music singer
Family Mothers

Republicans understand the importance of bondage between a mother and child.

(1947 – ) U.S. vice president & politician
Children Communication Misspokements Mothers

What’s the toughest thing in a professional football game? … Its being the mother of the quarterback.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Family Football Mothers Sports

My mother was so house proud that when my father got up to sleepwalk she had the bed made by the time he got back.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Family Housework Mothers

The worst feature of a new baby is its mother’s singing.

(1868 – 1930) cartoonist, humorist & journalist
Communication Entertainment Family Mothers

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist Cathy
Emotions Food/Drink Love Mothers Work

Moms Who Drink and Swear

Book Titles Mothers

When I was a kid, I got no respect. I told my mother I’m gonna run away from home. She said, “On your mark…”

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Mothers Self

One time my whole family played hide and seek; they found my mother in Pittsburgh!

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Mothers People Self

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Family Government Mothers Politicians President

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served nothing but leftovers… the original meal was never found.

(1959 – ) British/American actress, comedian, director, author & screenwriter
Eating Food/Drink Mothers

When I was a boy, my mother wore a mood ring; when she was in a good mood it turned blue… in a bad mood, it left a big red mark on my forehead.

comedian
Family Mothers

Mother, there are terrorist cells that are more nurturing than you are.

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Family Mothers TV/Movie Quotes

My mother always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything because I procrastinate; I said ‘Just wait.’

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Characteristics Family Mothers

[My mother] is the only woman in the world who makes gravy with the Rolaids crushed right into it.

(1937 – 2014) American co-host of radio show “Car Talk”
Cooking Family Food/Drink Mothers

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Family Food/Drink Mothers

God could not be everywhere and therefore he made mothers.

Family Mothers Proverbs