Subject: Family » Mothers (Page 2)

The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for thirty years she served the family nothing but leftovers.

(1935 – ) columnist, journalist & novelist
Family Food/Drink Mothers

We wondered why when a child laughed, he belonged to Daddy, and when he had a sagging diaper that smelled like a landfill – “He wants his mother.”

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Children Family Fathers Mothers

How do I explain her? [her mother] She’s as respected as Mother Theresa, she’s as powerful as Stalin, and she’s as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Family Mothers TV/Movie Quotes

You know how growing up we all had that voice inside our head that tells us we’re not good enough? Well, mine was outside my head driving me to school.

(1970 – ) American actress
Family Mothers People Self TV/Movie Quotes

I was so ugly my mother used to feed me with a sling shot.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Appearance Eating Food/Drink Mothers Ugly

Food, love, career, and mothers, the four major guilt groups.

(1950 – ) American cartoonist Cathy
Emotions Food/Drink Love Mothers Work

I know how to do anything — I’m a mom.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Characteristics Family Mothers

Mother, there are terrorist cells that are more nurturing than you are.

(1958 – ) American actor & producer
Family Mothers TV/Movie Quotes

Most turkeys taste better the day after; my mother's tasted better the day before.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink Mothers

Did you ever meet a mother who’s complained that her child phoned her too often… me neither.

(1946 – ) British actress, columnist & comedian
Children Communication Family Mothers

Do me a favor; when you get home, throw your mother a bone.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Family Mothers Situations

From time to time, my mother puts on her wedding dress; not because she’s sentimental, she just gets really far behind on her laundry.

comedian
Family Mothers

My mother never saw the irony in calling me a son-of-a-bitch.

Communication Family Language Mothers

My mother never breast fed me, she told me she only liked me as a friend.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Food/Drink Mothers Relationships

You might be a redneck if… your during your senior year you and your mother had homeroom together.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Education Family Mothers People Rednecks School

You’re not famous until my mother has heard of you.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Mothers Success

When my old man wanted sex… my mother would show him a picture of me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Fathers Mothers Sex

No self-respecting mother would run out of intimidations on the eve of a major holiday.

(1927 – 1996) columnist & humorist
Family Mothers

The Vatican is against surrogate mothers; good thing they didn't have that rule when Jesus was born.

(1952 – ) comedian
Mothers Relationships

Don’t forget Mother’s Day; or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Divorce Family Marriage Mothers