Subject: Family » Mothers (Page 5)

The Good Mommies’ Guide To Raising (Almost) Perfect Daughters

Book Titles Family Mothers

My mother was like a sister to me… only we didn’t have sex quite so often.

(1956 – ) American comedian
Family Mothers Sex

Sh*tty Mom: The Parenting Guide for the Rest of Us

Book Titles Family Mothers

My mother could make anybody feel guilty – she used to get letters of apology from people she didn’t even know.

(1935 – 2014) American comedian, television personality, writer & director
Characteristics Family Mothers

How do I explain her? [her mother] She’s as respected as Mother Theresa, she’s as powerful as Stalin, and she’s as beautiful as Margaret Thatcher.

(1971 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Family Mothers TV/Movie Quotes

I’ve been here eight months and have been in two earthquakes, a race riot, floods and fires, and I left New York because I couldn’t handle my mother.

comedian & television writer
Family Mothers Places

He would kill his own mother just so that he could use her skin to make a drum to beat his own praises.

(1864 –1945) Anglo-Scottish socialite, author & wit
Characteristics Insults Mothers

There’s a lot more to being a woman than being a mother, but there’s a hell of a lot more to being a mother than most people suspect.

(1952 – ) comedian, actress & writer
Family Mothers People Women

So, I’m licking jelly off my boyfriend… and all of a sudden I’m thinking… oh, my God, I’m turning into my mother.

(1970 – ) American comedian, writer & actress
Family Mothers Sex Situations

I live in a two-income household… but who knows how long my mom can keep that up.

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Family Money Mothers Travel Work

Mothers all want their sons to grow up to be president, but they don’t want them to become politicians in the process.

(1917 – 1963) 35th U.S. president
Family Government Mothers Politicians President

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.

(384 BC – 322 BC) Greek philosopher
Age Children Family Fathers Mothers

My mother protected me from the world and my father threatened me with it.

(1908 – 1999) English writer
Family Fathers Mothers World

To my embarrassment I was born in bed with a lady.

(1876 – 1933) screenwriter
Family Mothers

We have a beautiful little girl who we named after my mom; in fact Passive Aggressive Psycho turns five tomorrow.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Children Family Mothers Old

My mother always told me I wouldn’t amount to anything because I procrastinate; I said ‘Just wait.’

(1956 – ) American entertainer & comedian
Characteristics Family Mothers

My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Cooking Eating Food/Drink Mothers Relationships

Don’t forget Mother’s Day; or as they call it in Beverly Hills, Dad’s Third Wife Day.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Divorce Family Marriage Mothers

If it’s not one thing, it’s your mother.

(1964 – ) American country music singer
Family Mothers