Subject: Family » Parents

My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Family Parents Self Understanding

If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.

writer
Family Parents Success

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Animals Family Parents

We are the people our parents warned us about.

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & businessman
Family Parents People

Parents: People who use the rhythm method of birth control.

Family Parents

Whatever a parent does is wrong.

Failure Family Murphy’s Laws Parents Problems Young

Because of their size, parents may be difficult to discipline properly.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist
Family Parents

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Children Family Parents

The same parent who tells you it’s time to find yourself will also tell you to get lost.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Family Parents

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Family Health Parents

Parents are not quite interested in justice, they are interested in peace and quiet.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Family Parents Situations

When I was kidnapped my parents snapped into action… they rented out my room.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Family Parents Self Situations

One year my parents got me Hide and Seek for Christmas.

(1968 – ) Welsh comedian
Family Parents

Little League baseball is a good thing ’cause it keeps the parents off the streets, and it keeps the kids out of the house!

(1925 – 2015) baseball player, coach & manager
Children Parents Sports Yogi-isms

When I was younger, I really wanted a skateboard but my parents couldn't afford one; so one morning, I woke up early and went to the garage, I got some wood and some nails… and beat my parents to death.

My foster parents bought me 5 skateboards.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Family Parents Things

My parents had to tie a pork chop around my neck so the dog would play with me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs Family Parents

Grown-ups never understand anything by themselves, and it is tiresome for children to be always and forever explaining things to them.

(1900 – 1944) French aristocrat, writer, poet & pioneering aviator
Children Family Intelligence Parents

My parents used to take me to the pet department and tell me it was a zoo.

(1942 – ) Scottish comedian, musician & actor
Animals Family Parents

Parents: The one thing children wear out faster than shoes.

Definitions Family Parents

Parents often talk about the younger generation as if they didn’t have anything to do with it.

(1922 – 1973) Israeli teacher & child psychologist
Age Family Parents

I don’t blame my parents for my dysfunctions… I blame their parents.

(1947 – ) comedian & actor
Family Parents