Subject: Family » Parents (Page 3)

When I was kidnapped my parents snapped into action… they rented out my room.

(1935 – ) movie actor, director & comedian
Family Parents Self Situations

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot… but I always found them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Family Parents Places

Parents are the last people on earth who ought to have children.

(1835 – 1902) English composer, author & satirist
Children Family Parents

I was raised by my father; my mother left before I was born.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer
Family Parents

Psychiatry enables us to correct our faults by confessing our parents’ shortcomings.

(1919 – 1990) educator & writer
Family Health Parents

There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist
Children Family Parents

They have keys to my house, which is – that’s a mistake… cause they’re supposed to be emergency keys, and their idea of an emergency is to come in and leave me apple juice.

(1960 – ) American actress, stand-up comedian & media personality
Family Parents

The same parent who tells you it’s time to find yourself will also tell you to get lost.

fictional mascot and cover boy of Mad, an American humor magazine
Family Parents

Many children threaten at times to run away from home — this is the only thing that keeps many parents going.

(1917 – 2012) comedian & actress
Children Family Parents

I think it’s a good idea; it keeps the parents off the streets.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Baseball Family Parents Sports

When I was 15 years old, I got my learner’s permit, which meant that the state of Florida was now obligating me to learn to drive with the two worst drivers in the world: my mom and my dad.

(1959 – ) American comedian, comedy writer, actor & author
Autos Driving Family Parents Situations

We kept Mommy on a pedestal… it was the only way we could keep Daddy off her. – of life in a family with 12 children

(1946 – ) singer, songwriter, author & actress
Family Parents

I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer
Age Children Family Parents

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

(1936 – ) television talk show host
Children Family Parents

Wrinkles are hereditary; parents get them from their children.

(1924 – ) American actress & singer
Appearance Children Family Parents

My parents had to tie a pork chop around my neck so the dog would play with me.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Animals Dogs Family Parents

If you’ve never been hated by your child, you’ve never been a parent.

(1908 – 1989) American actress of film, television & theater
Children Emotions Family Parents

Parenthood: Feeding the mouth that bites you.

Definitions Family Parents Wordplay

My parents never understood me; they were Japanese.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor
Family Parents Self Understanding

When I was 16 years old, the morning of my birthday, my parents tried to surprise me with a car, but they missed.

American comedian
Family Parents Self Situations

No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will sometimes produce bizarre behavior… and I’m not talking about the kids.

(1937 – ) comedian & television actor
Children Family Old Parents