Subject: Family » Parents (Page 4)

Americans, indeed, often seem to be so overwhelmed by their children that they’ll do anything for them except stay married to the co-producer.

(1928 – ) British journalist, writer & columnist

My parents didn’t want to move to Florida, but they turned sixty, and that’s the law.

(1954 – ) comedian & television actor

There are times when parenthood seems nothing but feeding the mouth that bites you.

(1910 – 1993) editor & novelist

Parents: People who bear infants, bore teenagers, and board newlyweds.

I get on very well with my parents, give or take my mother.

English comedian & actor

When I was younger, I really wanted a skateboard but my parents couldn't afford one; so one morning, I woke up early and went to the garage, I got some wood and some nails… and beat my parents to death.

My foster parents bought me 5 skateboards.

Canadian stand-up comedian, actor & writer

If your parents never had children, chances are you won’t either.

(1936 – ) television talk show host

Everybody knows how to raise children, except the people who have them.

(1947 – ) author, humorist & satirist

When I was a kid my parents moved a lot… but I always found them.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor

For the parent of a Little Leaguer, a baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into innings.

(1907 – 1987) journalist & columnist

If at first you don’t succeed, blame your parents.

writer

Life: A span of time of which the first half is ruined by our parents and the second half by our children.

The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, “We want five thousand dollars or you’ll see your kid again.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor