Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 10)

Some drink at the fountain of knowledge; others just gargle.

Alcohol Intelligence People

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Alcohol Ideas Murphy’s Laws

Smith to witness: So, you were as drunk as a judge?
Judge (interjecting): You mean as drunk as a lord?
Smith: Yes, My Lord.

(1872 – 1930) British statesman, politician & lawyer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I only drink to steady my nerves… sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Activities Alcohol Beer Drugs Sleep

I believe that if life gives you lemons, you should make lemonade… and try to find somebody whose life has given them vodka, and have a party.

(1956 – ) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Death

A meal without wine is like a day without sunshine, except that on a day without sunshine you can still get drunk.

Alcohol Food/Drink

You mix two jiggers of scotch with one jigger of Metracal [a diet supplement]; so far, I’ve lost five pounds and my driver’s license.

(1927 – ) professional baseball player & coach
Alcohol Food/Drink Misspokements

There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.

(1916 – 1986) American poet, translator & etymologist
Alcohol Food/Drink

You can't drown yourself in drink… I've tried, you float.

(1882 – 1942) American actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

Egbert: Was I in here last night and did I spend a twenty-dollar bill?

Bartender: Yeah.

Egbert: Oh boy, what a load that is off my mind. I thought I’d lost it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Sam: You drinking again?

Rebecca: Certainly not. I never stopped.

(1951 – ) American actress
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

I didn’t think prohibition would last that long.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Time

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

I drink therefore I am.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Wordplay

There definitely needs to be water on the sidelines for these players, but I also had some Gatorade just in case they were allergic to the water or vice versa.

(1936 – ) American football coach & television announcer
Alcohol Health Misspokements Sports

The main difference between playing League and Union is that now I get my hangovers on Monday instead of Sunday.

Alcohol Food/Drink Sports

I practice when I’m loaded.

(1925 – 1985) American jazz saxophonist
Alcohol Entertainment Music

I drink to make other people interesting.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Alcohol Food/Drink

The Champagne they have stored is getting more valuable every year.

(1925 – 2005) television host
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

I had to stop drinking, cause I got tired of waking up in my car driving 90.

(1940 – 2005) comedian & movie actor
Alcohol Food/Drink