Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 11)

There are two impossibilities in life: “just one drink” and “an honest politician.”

(1880 – 1956) journalist, essayist, editor & satirist
Alcohol Food/Drink Government Life Politicians

I never drink anything stronger than gin before breakfast.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics Eating Food/Drink

I’ve got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I have even opened yet!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

I envy people who drink – at least they know what to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

Alcohol Ideas Murphy’s Laws

AAA-AA: A club for people who are being driven to drink.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

Reality is an illusion that occurs due to the lack of alcohol.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Here's to alcohol: the source of, and answer to, all of life's problems.

cartoon character in The Simpsons (Dan Castellaneta)
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with it's just compounding the felony.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Fools Intelligence

An Irishman is the only man in the world who will step over the bodies of a dozen naked women to get to a bottle of stout.

Alcohol Food/Drink People

They say some of my stars drink whiskey, but I have found that ones who drink milkshakes don't win many ball games.

(1890 – 1975) American baseball manager
Alcohol Baseball Food/Drink Sports

I know I'm drinking myself to a slow death, but then I'm in no hurry.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Death Food/Drink Time

I never drink water; I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics

God created alcohol just to stop the Irish from ruling the world.

(1956 – ) English actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

I saw a notice that said "Drink Canada Dry" and I've just started.

(1923 – 1964) Irish poet, short story writer, novelist & playwright
Alcohol Food/Drink

Friend: That drink is slow poison.

Benchley’s reply: So who’s in a hurry?

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Alcohol Food/Drink

The announcement of the disqualification was greeted by booze from the spectators at the pool.

Alcohol Food/Drink Sports

You might be a redneck if… your your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Alcohol Beer Entertainment People Rednecks

Put it back in the horse!

(1907 – 1976) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Insults

If you drink O’Douls, you don’t drink; but if you drink 20 O’Douls in a half hour, then you’re a non-alcoholic.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink