Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 12)

Whiskey: The best thing to take for a headache – the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass.

(1953 – ) American singer, songwriter, actor, author & radio personality
Activities Alcohol

The only cure for a real hangover is death.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Death Food/Drink Health

Teetotaler: One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions Wordplay

Sam Snead was born with a natural ability to keep his bar bills as low as his golf scores.

(1910 – 1983) professional golfer
Alcohol Golf Sports

If you are allergic to alcohol… can you take shots for that?

Jewish-American stand-up comedian & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

L.A. is nothing but a bunch of driving, and I hate all that damn driving 'cause it interferes with my drinking.

(1964 – ) American writer, stand-up comedian, actress, television host
Alcohol Food/Drink Places

Alcohol is ok in modification.

Alcohol Food/Drink Malaprops

Sleep… the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations Sleep

When you stop drinking, you have to deal with this marvelous personality that started you drinking in the first place.

(1930 – 2017) American journalist & author
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink

Water, taken in moderation, cannot hurt anybody.

Samuel Clemens (1835 – 1910) author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations

I can’t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.

(1904 – 1995) American comedian, jazz musician & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink Self

The reason there are two senators for each state is so that one can be the designated driver.

(1950 – ) comedian & television host
Alcohol Congress Government

Cliff: Hey, Norm: What’s up?

Norm: My blood-alcohol level.

George Wendt (1948 – ) American actor
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

One more drink and I'd be under the host.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.

(1906 – 1998) English-born American comedian
Alcohol Communication Food/Drink Reading/Writing

No animal ever invented anything so bad as drunkenness – or so good as drink.

(1874 – 1936) English author & mystery novelist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Drunkenness does not create vice; it merely brings it into view.

(54 BC – 39 AD) Roman orator
Alcohol Food/Drink

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

(1937 – 2008) stand-up comedian, social critic, actor & author
Alcohol Food/Drink Things

Secretary: Someday you’ll drown in a vat of whiskey.

Field’s reply as an aside: Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes