Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 13)

The trouble with jogging is that the ice falls out of your glass.

(1943 – ) comedian & actor
Alcohol Things

The French drink to get loosened up for an event, to celebrate and event, and even to recover from an event.

French commission of alcoholism
Alcohol Food/Drink People Places

Several members of our youth department are collecting donations for Operation Graduation. Funds will be used for a drug and alcohol party following graduation on May 29th.

Alcohol Church Bulletins Drugs

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Alcohol Food/Drink

Beer with no alcohol — what a waste; that is like a nun with a D-cup.

(1958 – ) American actress & stand-up comedian
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

Angels carry drunkards on their arms.

Alcohol Food/Drink Proverbs

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

Alcohol Food/Drink Life

I drink to make other people interesting.

(1890 – 1977) comedian, actor & television host
Alcohol Food/Drink

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Alcohol Communication People

There's no such thing as a large whiskey.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

Yeah, I know I’m ugly… I said to a bartender, ‘Make me a zombie;’ he said ‘God beat me to it.’

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Appearance Body Food/Drink

I remember when I swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills… my doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Health Situations Sleep

Being a Scotsman, I am naturally opposed to water in its undiluted state.

(1870 – 1934) British golf course architect
Alcohol Food/Drink

Stay busy, get plenty of exercise, and don’t drink too much… then again, don’t drink too little.

Age Alcohol Murphy’s Laws Old

Fields reloading!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Hangover: The moaning after the night before.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink Health

The best audience is intelligent, well-educated, and a little drunk.

(1877 – 1956) U.S. vice president & politician
Alcohol People Situations

I made wine out of raisins so I wouldn't have to wait for it to age.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Age Alcohol Food/Drink Time

If I wanted to be with people p**sing themselves and talking rubbish, I’d have a kid.

(1975 – ) English comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink People

Drink ‘til she’s cute, but stop before the wedding.

(1955 – ) comedian, actor & writer
Alcohol Dating Relationships

Candy, is dandy, but liquor, is quicker.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink Sex Time