Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 14)

Sleep… the most beautiful experience in life – except drink.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Situations Sleep

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

If Dracula bit Dean [Martin] in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People

If you drink like a fish, don't drive… swim.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink

As soon as they get married, they all get these big old guts on them; that's not from drinking beer – that's from swallowing pride.

stand-up comedian
Alcohol Body Fat Husbands Marriage Men People

24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case; coincidence?

Alcohol Beer Food/Drink

Put it back in the horse!

(1907 – 1976) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink Insults

One martini is alright, two is too many, three is not enough.

(1894 – 1961) author, cartoonist & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Never buy a drink for the road, because the road is already laid out.

(1933 – 1998) comedian & actor
Alcohol Food/Drink

I spilled some vodka on the carpet, and I vacuumed it up, and the vacuum got drunk. I had to take the Hoover to detox.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

Man: I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time.

Fields: A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

God created alcohol just to stop the Irish from ruling the world.

(1956 – ) English actor
Alcohol Food/Drink People