Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 3)

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with it's just compounding the felony.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Fools Intelligence

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer
Alcohol Animals Food/Drink

When life hands you lemons, make whisky sours.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Life Problems

Follow seven beers with a couple of Scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Activities Alcohol Drugs Sleep

You might be a redneck if… your your idea of high-quality entertainment is a six-pack and a bug-zapper.

(1958 – ) stand-up comedian & television personality
Alcohol Beer Entertainment People Rednecks

There's no such thing as a large whiskey.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I told my doctor, “I’ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills” and he told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

(1921 – 2004) stand-up comedian & actor
Alcohol Doctors Health

Alcohol killed my first wife… I got home drunk one night and shot her.

(1948 – ) British stand-up comedian
Alcohol Conflict Death Food/Drink Killing

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

I never drink water; I'm afraid it will become habit-forming.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Characteristics

Pour him out of here!

(1893 – 1980) actress, playwright, screenwriter & sex symbol
Alcohol Situations

I’ve got drinks piling up on my desk and a stack of pills I have even opened yet!

(1958 – ) American actress & singer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Life is too short to drink cheap beer.

Alcohol Food/Drink Life

Fields reloading!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Drunkenness is nothing but voluntary madness.

(54 BC – 39 AD) Roman orator
Alcohol Food/Drink

I was in love with a beautiful blonde once, dear. She drove me to drink. That’s the one thing I’m indebted to her for.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink TV/Movie Quotes

Say anything that you like about me except that I drink water.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Personally, I never drink on Oscar nights, as it interferes with my suffering.

(1903 – 2003) English-born American comedian & actor
Alcohol Emotions Food/Drink

You can't fall off the floor.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I only drink to steady my nerves… sometimes I’m so steady I don’t move for months.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

All other nations are drinking Ray Charles beer and we are drinking Barry Manilow.

(1947 – ) American columnist & humorist
Alcohol Beer Food/Drink