Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 3)

I envy people who drink… at least they have something to blame everything on.

(1906 – 1972) pianist, composer, author, comedian & actor

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist

I admit to spending a fortune on women, booze and gambling… the rest I spend foolishly.

(1919 – 1985) Scottish comedian & actor

He is not drunk, who from the floor, can rise and stand and shout for more.

(1902 – 1971) American humorist & poet

I distrust camels and anyone else who can go a week without a drink.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer

I have taken more good from alcohol than alcohol has taken from me.

(1874 – 1965) British prime minister, politician, statesman & orator

A study shows breast implants can cause nausea and dizziness… from all the free drinks.

(1962 – ) American actor and talk show host

A drunken man's words are a sober man's thoughts.

I think that I would be a good father… especially if my baby liked to go out drinking.

(1974 – ) Russian-born American comedian, writer & filmmaker

I always wake up at the crack of ice.

(1902 – 1971) American comedian & singer

The best research [for playing a drunk] is being a British actor for 20 years.

(1933 – ) English actor

There are two reasons for drinking: one is when you are thirsty, to cure it; the other, when you are not thirsty, to prevent it.

(1785 – 1866) English novelist & poet

If Dracula bit Dean [Martin] in the neck, he'd get a Bloody Mary.

(1919 – 2006) American comedian & actor

I thought AAA was an organization for people who are really bad alcoholics.

(1953 – ) comedian, dancer & writer

Actually, it only takes one drink to get me loaded; trouble is, I can't remember if it's the thirteenth or fourteenth.

(1896 – 1996) comedian, actor & entertainer

When he buys his ties he has to ask if gin will make them run.

(1896 – 1940) American author of novels & short stories

A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.  

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist

Secretary: Someday you’ll drown in a vat of whiskey.

Field’s reply as an aside: Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer

We have a drinking game in Australia, it’s called drinking.

(1977 – ) Australian comedian

Yeah… I remember my first beer.

(1945 – ) comedian, actor, writer, playwright & musician

There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.

(1916 – 1986) American poet, translator & etymologist