Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 4)

If you drink O’Douls, you don’t drink; but if you drink 20 O’Douls in a half hour, then you’re a non-alcoholic.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

How well I remember my first encounter with The Devil's Brew; I happened to stumble across a case of bourbon… and went right on stumbling for several days thereafter.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

Teetotaler: One who abstains from strong drink, sometimes totally, sometimes tolerably totally.

(1842 – 1914) author & satirist
Alcohol Definitions Wordplay

Drunkenness does not create vice; it merely brings it into view.

(54 BC – 39 AD) Roman orator
Alcohol Food/Drink

A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.  

(1667 – 1745) Irish satirist & essayist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

(1706 – 1790) American statesman, author, scientist & inventor
Alcohol Beer Emotions Food/Drink God Happiness

You can't fall off the floor.

Alcohol Food/Drink Murphy’s Laws

I drink therefore I am.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Wordplay

Man: I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time.

Fields: A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

There is no difference between someone who eats too little and sees Heaven and someone who drinks too much and sees snakes.

(1872 – 1970) British philosopher, mathematician, historian & social critic
Alcohol Food/Drink

If you don’t drink, then all of your stories suck and end with, “And then I got home…"

(1977 – ) Australian comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

I Wish Daddy Didn’t Drink So Much

Alcohol Book Titles

I don’t drink, I’m a totalitarian.

(1905 – 1974) radio comedian
Alcohol Characteristics Food/Drink Misspokements

Liquor – you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular.

(1886 – 1969) American journalist & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink Law

The French drink to get loosened up for an event, to celebrate and event, and even to recover from an event.

French commission of alcoholism
Alcohol Food/Drink People Places

I didn’t think prohibition would last that long.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Time

I feel like a midget with muddy feet had been walking over my tongue all night.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

Follow seven beers with a couple of scotches and a thimble of good marijuana, and it's funny how sleep just sort of comes on its own.

(1921 – 2001) Welsh comedian & singer
Activities Alcohol Beer Drugs Sleep

A bartender is just a pharmacist with a limited inventory.

Alcohol Food/Drink

One reason I don't drink is that I want to know when I am having a good time.

(1879 – 1964) British politician
Alcohol Emotions Food/Drink Happiness

Always drink upstream from the herd.

(1879 – 1935) humorist & social commentator
Alcohol Food/Drink