Subject: Food/Drink » Alcohol (Page 5)

Man: I have no sympathy for a man who is intoxicated all the time.

Fields: A man who's intoxicated all the time doesn't need sympathy.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

I must get out of these wet clothes and into a dry Martini.

(1889 – 1945) actor, author & humorist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Fields reloading!

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.

(1899 – 1961) author & journalist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Hangover: The wrath of grapes.

(1893 – 1967) writer, humorist & poet
Alcohol Food/Drink

The two-headed boy in the circus never had such a headache.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink

When he buys his ties he has to ask if gin will make them run.

(1896 – 1940) American author of novels & short stories
Alcohol Food/Drink

Sam: You drinking again?

Rebecca: Certainly not. I never stopped.

(1951 – ) American actress
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

Now, I’m what you’d call a ‘social drinker,' which means if someone says they’ll have a drink, I say, ‘So shall I.'

American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

I saw this wino, he was eating grapes, and I was like, “Dude, you have to wait.”

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink

I didn’t think prohibition would last that long.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Food/Drink Time

I can’t die until the government finds a safe place to bury my liver.

(1904 – 1995) American comedian, jazz musician & singer
Alcohol Food/Drink Self

His brain is a half-inch layer of champagne poured over a bucket of Methodist near-beer.

(1873 – 1945) journalist & author
Alcohol Insults Intelligence

What am I drinking? … NyQuil on the rocks, for when you're feeling sick but sociable.

(1968 – 2005) American stand-up comedian
Alcohol Food/Drink Health

Secretary: Someday you’ll drown in a vat of whiskey.

Field’s reply as an aside: Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

I can’t think of anything worse after a night of drinking than waking up next to someone and not being able to remember their name, or how you met, or why they’re dead.

(1969 – ) American actress, comedian, producer & writer
Alcohol Intelligence Memory Situations

Alcohol: A liquid good for preserving everything except secrets.

Alcohol Definitions Food/Drink

There's nothing wrong with sobriety in moderation.

(1916 – 1986) American poet, translator & etymologist
Alcohol Food/Drink

Secretary: Someday you'll drown in a vat of whiskey.

Field’s reply as an aside: Drown in a vat of whiskey? Oh death, where is thy sting?

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol Death Food/Drink

During one of my treks through Afghanistan, we lost our corkscrew. We were compelled to live on food and water for several days.

(1880 – 1946) comedian, actor, juggler & writer
Alcohol TV/Movie Quotes

The telephone is a good way to talk to people without having to offer them a drink.

(1950 – ) writer & humorist
Alcohol Communication People